This is more of a rant than anything but opinions/advice are/is appreciated. It's really ridiculously hard for me to begin romantic relationships with women, even when it's clear that there is a mutual attraction/interest. Like we'll talk about everything else but relationships/sex/ our attraction to each other. And then after some time I'll just give up and stop engaging as much because I'll start to just see them as a friend. I think this happens in part because I don't have a lot of experience dating women and also because I'm a femme and I'm generally only attracted to femmes. Not to stereotype femmes, but it just seems like perhaps due to society's socialization of women we don't feel comfortable being the aggressor/initiator in relationships. The only reason my last relationship was able to happen is because my ex took the lead and wasn't afraid to just put herself out there but I'm not really comfortable doing that and seems like neither are any of the women I've been attracted to since. HELP! Also it's really hard to flirt with women because a lot of us are already so touchy feely and compliment each other regardless of whether or not we're queer so I have a hard time showing women that I'm interested. I just sit here expecting them to read my mind and it fails every time lol
Well... I'm not a woman, but I can tell you that I can completely relate to your feelings about initiating relationships. I've almost always been the initiator. There comes to be a point in the courting process where you just have to make the move and see if the other person responds... and it's ALWAYS been terrifying. I've ALWAYS been nervous every time I made the first move. It's got to be one of the scariest and hardest things to do. The thing is, that the reward is so worth it, that it has been enough to motivate me to shut my brain off and make it happen without thinking. There isn't really a secret answer either. I'll be honest, and I know this is super lame, but hey... it is what it is. Every time I have ever initiated something, I have always done it while we are watching a movie together in the comfort of one of our homes. It's a great way to get close to each other and work up the courage to make a move without being too obvious. In my experience... if we are in that situation, and we are being close, and we are touching each other and I'm feeling like I should make the move... I have never been wrong about it. That didn't stop me from being terrified though as I was contemplating it. So anyhow... there's a little perspective from a guy. I realize it may not be the same, but it's the best I've got to offer. I hope it helps.
