1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Had my first straight dream last night...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by unknown12, Dec 8, 2011.

  1. unknown12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2011
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Does that mean anything? I have been having gay dreams all my life and all of a sudden i had a dream of me and a girl. I have been noticing girls more, but I still notice guys more still. I'm so confused. Could this be caused by stress? What has caused this?
     
  2. DhammaGamer

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2011
    Messages:
    658
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Michigan
    It's just a dream. Let it go.
     
  3. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    It might mean that you are more bi than you originally thought or, like dhamma said, its just a dream. One thing that it doesn't mean for sure is that you might be going straight or anything along that path so don't worry about it :slight_smile:

    Dreams are weird in general. Most of them don't really mean anything at all. Enjoy them for what they are.
     
  4. needshelp

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2011
    Messages:
    1,005
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    nuked jersey
    doesn't mean a thing really. you're just thinking about things too much.
     
  5. DhammaGamer

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2011
    Messages:
    658
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Michigan
    One time I had a dream that I was turned into a deer and was mounted by a stag. does that make me into beastiality. I don't think so. Dreams are weird. lol
     
  6. IanGallagher

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2011
    Messages:
    944
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    I fly as much as Superman
    In this case I truly doubt a dream is just a dream. The one that sends up the red flag is that you stated you've started to notice girls more. Noticing girls more ON TOP of dreaming about girls? Chances are you're bisexual and just truly noticing it now. I've read another report, while gathering intel to come out to my parents with, of a guy who grew up believing he was gay and was perfectly fine with it. But, when he went to college he started noticing girls more and discovered, "hey... wait a minute... I'm actually bi." That's what it sounds like.

    It's also the reversal of what it was like for me and a lot of the other bi realization stories you hear. Guys growing up digging chicks, noticing some guys but not a lot, and then one final thing triggers and it's the same epiphany. "Wow, I actually do like --- too!"

    While I came into the near middle from the straight side of things, you definitely sound like a dude coming into the near middle from the gay side of things. There's a spectrum developed by Kinsey - 0 being heterosexual, 6 being homosexual. He found that a great deal of people fell somewhere in-between. I'm a 2, meaning I lean straight but I like guys a lot (just not as much). But, you could be a 4, 5 or hell maybe even a 3 if you find out you like girls that much.

    I definitely think it means something though since you've stated you started to notice girls a lot more outside of this dream as well. Those two combined is the key sign.
     
    #6 IanGallagher, Dec 8, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2011
  7. Gravity

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    321
    Likes Received:
    256
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Given what's transpired in your life during the last month or so, I'd say it doesn't mean much. It's just a reflection of what's been occupying your thoughts.

    We tend to dream most about things we've been thinking about the most. You've been under a lot of pressure from your family, and have been forced to question yourself a great deal, so yes, stress can absolutely cause this - honestly I would find it more surprising if you WEREN'T having dreams of conflicting natures (gay then straight, etc.).

    A few thoughts on how to approach this:

    1) Who was the woman involved? Did you know her? Did anything about her remind you of someone?

    2) What's the most significant detail you can remember from the dream?

    3) How did you feel during the dream? How did you feel after it?

    If it becomes a regular thing, then it might be time to analyze. But for now, a single dream doesn't necessarily mean much, other than - again - that issues of orientation have been on your mind.
     
  8. Debug

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2011
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St. John's, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    If I may interject I would weigh the dream as insignificant. I frequently have dreams about tsunamis and other natural disasters... at least quite a few times a month and those dreams are not indicative of anything... in one of them I even flew away by shape shifting into a bird!

    If you notice a sharp increase in the frequency of the dreams and a greater attraction towards women then maybe it'll be something worth considering in more detail. Until then, dreams are just dreams.
     
  9. IanGallagher

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2011
    Messages:
    944
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    I fly as much as Superman
    I wouldn't necessarily say the dream part is important. I've had dreams about guys few and far between. I think only three times. Yet, I like guys. Most of my dreams are about girls. That's why I said the dream part in addition to -- the best thing to do is to not judge this as a dream. Just follow where your eyes naturally go. If they continue going towards girls and thinking "she's hot" - something's up.

    I find my dreams about guys only come up when I tried to not pay attention to guys I thought were hot or cute and rejected the way I felt about them. Kind of like - since my brain couldn't focus on guys in the waking world it said "ha, you'll have dreamy guys in your dreams then."

    So, being bi with all this stuff happening combined with leanings - makes it a lot more complicated. As said, and only poster here who seemed to notice the key point -- just follow your eyes. If they keep going to girls, something's up. If it stops, then it's nothing. But, I'm a bi guy who thought liking guys (since I'm mostly straight) was just a phase and funky dreams on rare occasions... when it wasn't.
     
    #9 IanGallagher, Dec 8, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2011
  10. stilllovelyafte

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2011
    Messages:
    172
    Likes Received:
    0
    Things in dreams are often also representative. Their meanings can be derivative rather than straightforward. I'm hesitant to read too much into dreams. At this point in my life, I think I've only dreamt of women... Does that mean the feelings of attraction I felt for men in the past are less significant? I don't think so.
     
  11. Ianthe

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,760
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    You are right in the middle of coming out to your family and dealing with all the stress of their reactions. That by itself can do weird stuff to your dream life.

    Who was the girl? Maybe with a little more information, we could give better dream analysis.
     
  12. Ianthe

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,760
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    Dreams about storms and natural disasters are about feeling overwhelmed and out of control; in the case of a tsunami, the issues making you feel that way may be deep or repressed emotional issues. Birds symbolize hope and future goals and aspirations, and flying can represent overcoming escaping your difficulties.

    You might want to think about what was going on in your life when the bird appeared in your dream. What changed?
     
  13. ashlee2

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2011
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    near Ann Arbor MI
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    its just a dream =) relax
     
  14. Debug

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2011
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St. John's, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Ianthe, interestingly I had conquered that fear and had began to confront my ocd at that point. I guess shortly before that dream I realized what had been plaguing me my whole life. Very interesting! Thanks for that information!
     
    #14 Debug, Dec 8, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2011
  15. unknown12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2011
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks all for the replies. During the dream I when I was with the girl, I felt like I had to be with her. Something in me told me not too but then I was adamant to what that something was telling me. And the girl I was with was not at all good looking. I am starting to think that it was a nightmare rather than a dream.

    Any thoughts on this?
     
  16. IanGallagher

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2011
    Messages:
    944
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    I fly as much as Superman
    Usually the guys I dreamt about, being bi, were incredibly hot lol. Never ugly. So it was kinda clear it was a queer wet dream lol.

    It could be about you fighting your attraction to girls (depending on your waking life). Or it could be that the newfound attention towards girls is forced by something telling you to conform when in reality conforming would be the worst thing possible to do because those attractions aren't actually real - basically reiterating that you are gay. Kind of all depends on what is driving you to "notice girls more."
     
  17. Beachboi92

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2009
    Messages:
    1,099
    Likes Received:
    1
    i've had dreams involving women before, i've also had dreams involving dinosaurs, my face falling off, and zombies. It could mean all sorts of things or nothing but regardless i wouldn't put to much emphasis on it :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  18. NoPlanB

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2010
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm gay and when I have sexual dreams about women I find it strangely attractive, but afterwards I can't really "get into that sort of thing".
     
  19. Gravity

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    321
    Likes Received:
    256
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think this speaks for itself, quite frankly!
     
  20. Ianthe

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,760
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    I agree. This dream is clearly about your feelings about society trying to make you straight when you are gay. You feel like you "have to" be with (unattractive) women even though you don't want to.