I'm Jean Valjean, er... :icon_redf Hello everyone, I have been suffering from depression for the past couple of years. Since September I have been meeting with a therapist every month or so and although I am still somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of opening up to her I have found the experience to be a helpful one. In our last session I brought up the issue of my sexuality. I told her that I think I might be gay. This is not the first time the thought has occurred me. Periodically in my life, the thought has crept from the back of my brain to the forefront. I have always explained the thought away as paranoia, but I decided to entertain the idea this time around and to my surprise it made a lot of sense. I have never been very active in pursuing women. I had a few girlfriends in high school, but each time I started dating one it was only after I found out she was interested in me. I have had sex with a couple of women, one of them multiple times, but I do not think I really enjoyed it. I can not remember much of it at any rate. I am also becoming more aware of the fact that I am checking out guys, although I am still not always conscious of the act. My therapist stressed to me the importance of self-acceptance. The problem is I have an annoying habit of questioning and over-analyzing my every thought. How can I learn to accept myself if I am still not sure of who I am? Thank you for reading.
Oh wow I feel like you're the guy version of me! I'm also seeing a counselor and I brought up the issue about me being gay. It's also something that has crept up and I've ignored due to how much I overanalyze and rationalize everything I do. I've pretty much spent my entire life trying to be "normal" that I now have no idea as to who I am! One thing that I've been doing, that you may find useful is writing down a list of things that you do know about yourself. Also write about things that you want or things that you feel are important for you. Include your feelings about guys and girls in there and compare the two. Obviously, this isn't a sure proof way of figuring out your sexuality but I did that and it helped me a bit to put things in perspective. From basically all this self discovery, I've managed to conclude that I am mostly gay (I'm guessing a kinsey 5). I'm still not comfortable with it but being on here and seeing my counselor has helped quite a bit! So good luck
Thank you for your reply, dreamcatcher. I think I'll start my own list tonight. Hopefully I'll learn a little more about myself. Thanks again.
