Hello, Im new here. Call me anything kind. Anyway, I am very scared. Not for myself, but my family. I used to have really bad anger issues, and my family is just getting over that. Ive always known myself to be bisexual. From as young as 4th grade, Ive found both girls and guys attractive. I enjoy kissing both. But further than kissing, I only like girls. I would date both boys and girls, but would only want to have sex with a girl. I have no idea what this makes me. Back to family, My mom and her bf know Im bi, or at least think I am. My mom sort of laughed it off and said she knows I only like boys. Her bf didnt really react. The rest of my family is pretty intolerant, though. I am terrified to be lesbian. I cant live life without a family.... Sorry this is a lot of reading, but I just needed to get some stuff out.
I think its been said here a few times that the people who are often the most intolerant are often the most changed by someone coming out to them. Personally I'd suggest that you just take your time and figure out what you want for sure... your mom thinks you are bi well that's a start. No need to slap a label on yourself until you are ready... even then who really needs labels . It sounds like you have a good idea already of what you really want, good luck and hang in there!
Hmmm oh okay then. I guess the important question is who do you feel closer bonds with, women or men? You don't need to rush yourself in making a decision. I know you don't know what you want and you said you are terrified of living without a family... what do you mean in that regard? There is no need to pressure yourself into coming out to the rest of your family and feeling isolated... especially when you are still financially dependent on them.
Well, I feel like I can be more comfortable and talk easier with guys. Girls kinda freak me out sometimes. Im just really torn.
That does sound pretty complicated. Is there the option of a school guidance councilor or anything like that? I'm not sure what the education system is like in the states... getting a psych is free here in Canada and you can get help through the school.
Im kinda in an online school. Most people, including the teachers, are incredibly sheltered. Very annoying. I doubt they would be much of help...
That sounds pretty tough. It probably also makes it even harder for you to decide what you want... considering the isolation I'd imagine you get to deal with being home bound most of the time. Sorry if I am wrong about that, considering this is pure conjecture. I think the best thing you can do it try to explore your sexuality a bit more. You say you feel more comfortable around men but the question is if that's because you are used to being around men or is it what you naturally accustomed to. I know I'm not being the most helpful person but I'm trying my best.
Your conjecture is pretty right. I get out of the house a few times a week, but not normally with peers. It does make it harder. Ive lost pretty much all contact with people from old schools except for one guy that I am interested in (not helping) and have been trying to make friends at my online school via email, but I still find it hard to fit in.
Hey it sounds to me a bit like you feel like you are more attracted to girls and almost want to be with a girl but you are so scared about the consequences that may bring that you have attached a lot of negativity to the thought of being with a girl and therefor when you let yourself imagine being with a girl you get scared. It can be difficult to know what you really want, but you know you dont have to decide right away, I would suggest that when you get some time to yourself you just let your imagination run away with you for a while and try and just fantasize about what you might like, try not to associate any negative thoughts along with it like 'oh that wouldnt be possible'. Imagine yourself with guys and girls and see what happens.
Welcome, fellow Denverite. The tough part about being home schooled IS in fact the isolation. While it's nice to be sheltered from (possible) bullying and peer pressure, it's difficult to bond with people your age. There are several gay-and-alt-sexuality places geared towards teens here in Denver. You might not be ready to jump right into showing up to one, but it might be a good thing to think about, and possibly to work towards. Lex
Im also scared to admit that I might be more attractted towards girls... ---------- Post added 8th Dec 2011 at 05:13 PM ---------- Oh my gosh, I was staring at the word Denverite for a few minutes wondering what it meant. Then I was like.... wait....
If you do like girls better then thats just fine I personally perfer boys right now, probably because I have a boyfriend right now, but I think girls make lovely eye candy. Though I'm not adverse to a relationship with one at all. I struggled to accept it but I'm proud of my sexuality. Don't be scared of your sexuality. Own it. Love it. Let me tell you, now I'm being open to myself about myself, I'm happier than I've ever being. Sorry if I'm not being very helpful.
