So yeah, I told my two best friends ever with in a time period of 3 days. They took it really well and ill write about the second coming out later. But after that, i couldnt drive i was shaking so hard that my friend took me back to his house. I pretty much had a break down and was crying for maybe an hour.And to be honest i still feel kinda like a shite sandwich Im kinda going back though all thos loss stages thing. I kept crying how much i didnt want to be like this and how life wasnt fair. My life is already kinda hard without this on top of it. I feel bad for talking about it to my friends though, becasue they are really touchy people. and while we agreed its all very platonic it donst feel right. At one point a had crushes on bot of them and i really dont want to go though this with all my guy friends in the future. I still kinda regreting coming out becasue now i cant pretend it dosnt exist in my social life. I just feel like a freak who is either asking too much or just potentially fucked up two really good freinships. In short i just feel awful about coming out and i cant just go back in the closet now can I? Chances are it will take some time to get over this, I really want to talk to them about it but im not sure exactly what about or how? I also dont want to make a big deal out of it and bore them to death even if it is a big deal to me right now. Just some help and advice would be nice.
I know how you feel, I've been like that. After I came out, I got paranoid about anything I've told to them, afraid that they will spread it out or change the point of view about me. That is just how you imagine at the first time, so don't be so down with it, you will get better after a while. And yes, nobody wanna be like "that", we were born like this. As I can see you're 17, you're not in colloge (yet), but soon it will change, you will meet a lot of people like us there, and you will get more support from them . Keep being good friend with anyone you came out with, and wait until the best time to do it with your family.
Hey when I first came out, it was a stranger I just met at a bar, she was so honest that we clicked on so many levels that night. But like you, I was shaking after finally admitting that I was gay for the first time because it felt like there was no more turning back. It actually felt good after a few days because I finally came out and we became best friends after. Base on your friend's reactions, you're luckier than alot of the guys here who are in the midst of coming out to hostile people. I don't think they judge you for being gay so you shouldn't judge them for not accepting you unless proven otherwise. Just be your normal self and show them that you are still you. When I came out, it was so relieve to finally talk about guys and gay jokes but other than that I'm still the same old person. Good luck and give it a few days to let things run.
Sometimes, when we tell someone for the first time, it can make it seem real in a way that it never did before. That's why you're freaking out now. But it could be that it's necessary for you. If you hadn't told anyone, it might have gone on not really feeling real this way, and you would just be stuck at your current levels of self-acceptance rather than moving forward. Coming out can be a really difficult ordeal, but once you get through it, it improves your life. You'll know that the people who care about you love you for who you really are. Just be honest with your friends and let them know that it's a big deal for you right now, and you appreciate them talking about it with you. It sounds like they will be understanding.
You are very lucky to have straight buddies who are sticking with you. I have a good friend who said that he stopped having crushes on guys once he came out and had a real relationship with someone else. Before, you were a closeted gay guy pretending to be straight with straight friends. Now, you're an honest, genuine gay guy with straight friends. The only thing that's really changed is that you're honest with yourself and these guys know it. You are in such a better place. Now, you have to figure out a new normal of how to interact honestly with your straight friends. I'm sorry that you're upset with the who you are. Go seek some help from a guidance counselor or through a Gay-Lesbian Club at your school if you have one. Being gay can really be an advantage. (I'm reading a book right now on the advantages gay people have in business.) You need to start seeing your uniqueness as a gift. Embrace your gay side. Stop struggling. Fighting it won't change things or make you feel better. It's hard in your high school years. But as dennisvkn said, all that will change when you get out of that environment. I hope that one day you will truly LOVE yourself.
if you "came out" and told some folks, that doesn't mean you have to keep talking about it or keep dwelling on it with them. you just told them u liked dudes and you were struggling with it. if u dont want to keep talking to them about it, u dont have too. you can tell them to keep it just between you three. as far as the crush thing, look, you're going to have crushes on straight guys and its not goign to go anywhere 99.8 percent of the time. its just a factor of life. you feel bad now cuz you dont want to be like who you are. but think of it like this, is someone is artistically talented, they can never decide to pick up a paintbrush and paint but they are still going to be artistically talented. i think being gay or bi is the same thing. you like dudes, ok. you are either going to beat yourslef up about it for the rest of your life which really is not a great way to live or realize that you can't help who you like. some dudes get excited about blonde girls with big boobs. some dont. does the guy that doesnt like blonde girls beat himself over the fact he doesnt like blond girls? NO. you are only upset because everything around you and society tells you that you should not like men. but you do like men. and other guys that you would not think are gay or bi and have girlfriends like men too, but they are just like you. they are "artisically talented" but they refuse to pick up a paintbrush. doesn't mean they still are not artistcally talented. if all that was hidden was seen, i think you would realize that all people are more alike than they are differnet.
