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Therapy was hard this week....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by time4change, Dec 9, 2011.

  1. time4change

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I went to therapy on Monday and I guess its taken me this long to digest everything that happened. I have the best therapist that I wish I would take better advantage off. I've been in therapy for a little over a year before I decided tha I wasn't going to go anymore because I found that I really wasn't communicating what I needed to tell her. Well fast forward 4 months and my emotional state is horrible. Like I've said before, I've come out to a few of my friends but I'm very much in the closet. My friends pushed me to go back to therapy and so I went. I had the opportunity to be there for almost 2 hours because the following appointment cancelled and she didn't want to stop. I finally had the courage to tell her about my best friend that I would like to come out to who is totally straight. I have basically put my life on hold always being around my friend when she needed me. I came to the realization that I have lived the last 10 years denying who I am because her friendship is so important to me that I'm willing to put my feelings and emotions on hold. I know thats not normal and now my best friend is moving away. Her moving away makes me happy and at the same time gives me a gutt-wrenching feeling in my stomach. Just like that she will be gone from my immediate day to day life. My therapist says I should just tell her and that being such a good friend of mine she will be understanding. My logical brain tells me the therapist is right but my irrational fears usually get the best of me. I guess this was more of a vent post. I hope some of you have some words of advice.
     
  2. person54

    Full Member

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    Good friends moving away sucks since it's a form of loss.

    Have you thought about the pros and cons of telling her? It's really about what you want.
     
  3. Tracker57

    Full Member

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    The first person I came out to was one of my ENTIRELY straight male friends. We had spent a lot of time together having fun, volunteering together, and being business partners together. I was terrified to come out to him. But, what I got was total acceptance. In fact, he said, "That really explains a lot." So I guess he noticed some incongruities in my life that I didn't know existed. Now, we're even better friends because that barrier is down. And because he is totally straight and I have no interest in him, there is no sexual tension between us. But, finally after 10 years, I know that I can completely be myself with him--it's so comfortable and we're better friends because of that. I hope that your friend will be as understanding.

    I know your friend will be gone and you won't have physical contact, but you can always email, talk, text, etc. and stay close. Just because you'll be out of sight, doesn't mean you'll be out of mind. Best wishes for you, time4change.