My 'boyfriend' feels guilty about loving me.

So I have a 'boyfriend' (we aren't really official) who I've gone through just about everything with. I'd tell the whole story but I don't wanna bore you guys, I could honestly write a book on it.

Anyway. The point is that up until a week ago we'd been trying to have a relationship but he'd always end it for whatever reason. And a week ago he decided to give it a go again.

So this whole week has been amazing. He tells me how much he loves me, how handsome I am, how lucky he is, etc. We're so cute and awesome together. And I think I really do love him, and that really scares me. But my internal conflicts are a different matter.

The matter here is that every time we do stuff he feels guilty. I'd say cuddling and making out and holding hands but that's not true, he feels guilty after he... well, comes. We haven't really gotten much into the sexual stuff because we're fine with just holding each other, but we've tried it several times, and every time after he comes (we don't really do much), he feels really guilty. And before Friday, he always left me after feeling guilty. And the reason I kept giving him chances when he came back was because I knew he felt guilty and I understood. Now on Friday he felt guilty again but he's fighting those feelings so hard for me.

But it's really difficult, and I'm here by his side to help him get over those feelings. But I don't know how... How do I make those feelings go away, little by little? I don't wanna lose him again.

Especially not now that I've begun opening up, which is so fucking hard for me.

Thank you.

 

Yeah, there's this picture of a heart and a brain... wait let me look for it.

Here:



That's exactly what happens to him...

Anyway. Yeah. You're right. And yeah I am giving him a chance... We just talked about that. How I'm giving him all the time he needs. How I won't leave him. 'Cause he said he's scared I'll leave 'cause it's too much time and too much work. And I told him I would never, so.

And thanks for the advice... The sexual things are too fast, that's also the problem. But we told each other we loved each other lots and lots of times and we smiled and it was all so sweet. So I think it's mainly speed.

Thank you so much

 

I can't even begin to describe how cute. I love bragging about it, but I only have like my best friend to brag about it to lol. Yeah, I'm a much more kissing/hugging/holding each other kind of guy. Sex isn't my top priority. Yeah I was basically shivering and trembling while we were kissing each other, and not because it was cold, but because of the intense feeling of love that overcame me. It's so amazing. He makes me feel so amazing.

Anyway, thanks again.

 

It would be great if anyone else had more advice on making him feel less guilty :icon_bigg

 

Yeah, the thing is that time is like. I don't know. I don't want him to just plain give up, you know? What if he doesn't give it time?

Thanks

I know it isn't. But I wanna be with him and help him get through it 'cause I love him. And yeah, only he can do that. But I know I can help. If he has no one on his side to support him, there's no way he'll ever accept himself, you know? Thank you

 

I have, and I am laying off the sexual stuff. We've been getting so much better. I think we truly do love each other... Like love love, not just "I love you" love but really love you know what I mean?

Yeah this Friday we're spending the whole day together alone ('cause it's impossible to act like idk cute at school) and I can't wait. And gosh we're just gonna be able to say everything we have to say and whatnot and just be ourselves and be able to love each other and not hold back and gosh now I'm babbling. But yeah. This Friday will probably help a lot. 'Cause we'll be able to talk in person about these things. And I'm also staying over so like yeah.

If you wanted to find someone, I'd recommend someone who's more OK with being who they are. I love him, and I'd never ever trade him for anyone else, but I'm just saying. It's a tough ride we're going through. But in the end we're going through it together.

I remember feeling like you do. But really, it's not all that bad, depending on how many people you hang out with and what you do over the weekends and sometimes it's nice being single. But yeah having someone is amazing too.

That's an excellent idea. Thank you!