Its been a few months since my mother figured it out, she has not been nice about it, she not only rejects it but thinks i am crazy and "sick", and that this can be cured, well i guess you got the picture. Since i came out she has constantly been throwing the rudest insults you can think of, not only hurting me deeply but making me feel ashamed and incredibly angry, i need some advice on how to take this because everytime this happens i can hardly contain myself and get in a fight, insulting sruff i shouldn't insult (like religion. her religion, God) i know i shouldn't do that but i seriously get out of my senses and that makes me look pretty bad, and i think its only making it worse that im reacting like that, because it makes her think that being gay (or anything else other than heterosexual) is not only generally bad, but makes you a bad person. Recently she outed me to my aunt, like simply outed me! And she knew i heard it, then we started to argument about everything and they came to the conclusion that "i should live my life as straight, marry, have kids ..etc.. and then decide what i should like " Obviously i raged at this, and whats worse is not that moment when i heard such an idiot "conclusion", whats worse is that now i know no one on my family will support me. I told my mother she was very uneducated to out myself like that and that i should decide who knows and who doesn't, a few hours later she outded me to my grand father -.- Makes me think... who is next? I'm really really out of ideas, my arguments surely won't work, they don't understand and they have dictator-like, submissive, nazist minds they want me to adequate to the common society and live as heterosexual simply because everybody thinks its the more right "choice" (like if i could do that lol.) I just wanted a light at the end of the tunnel to survive this kind of treatment until i can finally leave everybody, because i don't think their ignorance is something that can be fixed. Please help me guys :/ (sorry about my grammar, english is not my native language)
Honestly, it sounds like your best move is to simply withdraw. Don't argue or discuss your sexuality with your mother anymore. She apparently is only interested in doing so in the hopes that you're "change your mind"...which you ain't doing. So just stop engaging her. If she brings it up, and tells you "to marry, have kids, and then decide what you like" (at which point, if you're still gay, should you just ditch the family?), just say "that's certainly something I could do. I'll give it some thought." Then don't debate the topic at all. If she keeps after you, just keep telling her "I'll give it some thought." Then just do whatever the hell you were going to do. Lex
THIS. Don't talk about it anymore. TRUST ME. Ignorance is bliss until you're on your own and are able to handle it with a better circle than this. Sounds exactly like my parents, who think this is a disease and can be fixed. My sister also thought that there's a slight glimmer of hope, but I've reminded her that it ain't happening. She only feels this way because she doesn't want the family to be ruined––which will happen when I say it again, in a couple of years. Many parents don't want "abnormal" children and they feel that goes against the "norm" of things. That's what my mom kept on saying, and for the sake of forgetting this shit, I said I feel better now (after she told me her story of going through a phase where she touched another woman at the same age as me...which was a bit weird for me and led me to believe that she was a lesbian since she said that she stopped because she had her "fun" and that she had to do what was "normal". Whatever LOL), and that we'll forget about this and discuss it after I'm old enough (which is ridiculous since I'm 20 now). Does it get better? I don't even fucking know. For the sake of my sanity, I hope it does. They'll have to deal with it sometime. Otherwise, what they become is entirely up to them.
>>>Does it get better? I don't even fucking know. For the sake of my sanity, I hope it does. It gets better when you remove yourself (somewhat) from those who would change you, and surround yourself with those who accept you for who you really are. You're presumably closer to this point than our space monkey above, but you both have it in your power to do that eventually. Eyes on the prize. Lex
I definitely agree with your statement. I can wait a couple of years; that's not a problem for me. I don't want to be with anyone right now, anyway, because all I want to do is immerse myself into education and making something out of myself. That's all that matters to me. Sexuality is an integral part of who I am, but it's not the only part of who I am. I could definitely give up sex for a nice career, as weird as that sounds. Sex sounds very fascinating, but what I do on a daily basis, who I hang out with, how I view life right now, have gotten me to where I am and they're more than enough to sustain me for a long time. But, I'm still glad I came out, even though my parents think it's a phase. It means that they know how I feel, which means they'll always have this feeling in the back of their minds. IT may be ignored, but it's not forgotten, and, for me, that's all that matters right now.
