So, I am female, just turned 20 and am pretty confused right now. I am in a relationship with a guy; and we HAVE been together for quite a while... but me questioning my sexuality is making it really hard to maintain this relationship. He wants it all; engagement - which we SORT OF are, i don't know how it happened - marriage, kids. I also want all those things someday... I just don't know about it being with him. He's lovely, but he has severe anger problems and he sometimes scares me/upsets me with it - quite severly from time to time. I know this relationship is far from perfect but tbh, I'm scared of being on my own - very scared. I know it's very selfish of me, but I'm not too happy the way things are some of the time. I used to be able to see a future with him; but now I am not so sure. I also am finding it very hard to admit to myself what sexuality I am. It really tends to vary with me... sometimes I will be more into men, but most the time finding women more attractive to be around and sexually. I have hardly any female friends because I find it hard to communicate with them - plus as my partner knows I am bi, he doesn't like me saying anything nice about any female friends. I really want to get out there and meet some other like-minded women - but it's really hard as I have social anxiety issues, and find it hard to do as I feel guilty due to being with someone else etc. I just don't know... I needed to rant, so sorry folks. I hope you can make sense of this :'(
Hey. Nice to meet you. The guy you're with sounds like he his with you in spite of your sexuality, instead of loving you as you. What you need, be it man or woman, is someone who accepts and embraces all parts of you. That being said, you may feel that being with him is better than being alone, but maybe you'd feel better alone when you don't have to deal with his anger problems and jealousy (regarding your female friends). Yeah, my sexuality fluctuates between pansexual and asexual a lot so I kind of understand. Perhaps you're just a kinsey 4 or 5. I think a lot of people who are into both (or all) genders will have periods where they feel more into girls or guys. Hope things work out for you
Um. If you want to talk I am here. I broke 5 month relationship because I did not straight anymore. So I kinda understand what ur talking about
If you are unsure what you want right now then dont get married (as it will cause more problems if you decide in the end you dont want to be with him). How bad are his anger problems? If they are really bad maybe you should talk to him about getting anger management. Being single does seem scary but when you are own your own it can help you alot as it makes you stronger and more independent and in the long run it helps alot as it can help you find yourself which at the moment you are unsure about. Also, by being on your own you will get a chance to meet new people and only then you can truely decide what you want in life. But dont make a life changing decision when you are not ready and unsure.
Whether or not you're a lesbian, it sounds like your current relationship isn't working. You should be with someone because you love them and want to share your future with them, not because being single is scary. There is never a last chance for love, and certainly not at your age. People start new, lasting, and committed relationships in their eighties.
I like what Rubikscube said. That he is with you "in spite" of you sexuality instead of accepting you for who you are and trusting your commitment to the relationship. My ex was like that. I always felt like I was crazy or wrong for being attracted to sex with men. Really I just needed some time away from her to finally come to terms with who I am and be comfortable with the life I am meant to lead. I'd say if you need to get away from the relationship to explore other interests then do it sooner rather than later. if the two of you are meant for oneanother then thngs will work out. Otherwise, as they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea (especially for bi people lol).
Thank you for the posts, folks. yeah I am pretty confused right now in many ways... I do love him, it's just I feel he needs help and he doesn't listen when it comes to his own problems. & another stress; A girl I sort-of like (female friend) has told me she likes me... and it's caused a heck load of weird feelings for me about both my friendship with her and my current relationship. So upset and confused right now... I don't know.
I don't mean to sound mean, but it really does sound like your relationship with your boyfriend ended a while ago. Both of you seem to have this mutual feeling that you're only still together out of obligation. This isn't healthy. I think this girl has given you a great opportunity. I think that you need to pursue her a little and see if you can work out your feelings. There's any number of things that could be going on: you might like her simply because she's returning your feelings and it's refreshing and new, you really could just be going through a momentary phase, or you might just be figuring out you're bisexual. There's nothing wrong with any of these things because a lot of people go through them. There are many people in this community alone that are willing to help you through this difficult time.
