I'm sixteen, known I was gay for a over year, and have taken it upon myself to try to work through it. I don't know if anyone knows what that means. Some days it's really okay, and I can even joke about it with two of my really good friends I've told. I bet you guys know how the other days work? Earlier today, my sister and I were fighting about stupid sibling things. Leave it to the sixteen year old to get mixed up with that. I'm very passive and shy by nature, but I'm not completely innocent. I was getting cussed out and took on even more of a passive stance to piss her off. Well... I was in the kitchen, rummaging around for a fork... "I know what you are. I found a book next to your bed. And I saw you on a certain website." A) I always hide that book. B) It's not something dirty or farfetched. I'm having a hard time with all of this and bought it to help. It's so innocent.. It's called "Outing Yourself" C) Again, not a bad website or anything. Probably one very similar to this... Supportive. That overwhelming nervous feeling overtook my entire body, which you guys also probably know.... It sounds like a normal sentance, but everything about it was meant to be hurtful, antaganizing, and most of all, a scare tactic. Blackmail, in a way. She's in eighth grade, by the way... She even recently went to a social justice conference on GBLT issues. I can't believe she would do this to me. She asked me if I was once, and I said no. But, I said it in the obviously-lieing-don't-ask-again kind of way. And then my mom enters the room and she gives me a daunting look. I didn't know what to do or how to defend myself; so I ran. I dropped my bowl, muttered something about homework, and literally fled the room. I get here into the office and and hear her yell, "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE SOMETHING HELD AGAINST YOU?" Am I overreacting? This is really scaring me. When we're both on friendly terms, we're perfectly fine... But in any tense moment, maybe my sister fighting with my mom, I can 100% see her yelling something like, "Just ask your gay daughter!" Just how I predicted she'd try to use this against me. Should I try talking to her about this? Is pleading her not to tell anyone going to do anything? Any advice in general?
Wow...Uh. Well you should ask your sister why she is doing this. There has to be some reason. And what if your mom did find out. Would your mom be okay with you being gay? One thing I think you should do is try and see if she accepts gays. But I really think you should try and figure out your sister's reasoning for blackmailing you. I really hope you get through this ok. And if you need to talk to anyone I'm here.
Your sister sounds like a bitch, not gonna lie. I'd say, listen bitch, you're my sister and if you have any respect for me in this world you'll keep your mouth shut.
oh, harsh. (*hug*) enormous hug first. well, maybe you should talk to your sister. if she went to a conference she should understand a bit. you just have to see how much you can trust her on the other hand, you could try telling your parents. as someone else said, do you know their general stance on gay people? if not, try introducing it. you could say something like "i heard jodie foster outed herself as lesbian recently" or something. you could use dumbledore instead, or whatever would seem most natural in your family. if they're hostile, say something like "i just thought it was interesting because i never would have guessed" and they shouldn't suspect. and if they do seem okay with it, you could consider whether to tell them? i know this is so hard (i actually atm am waiting for my parents to read my coming out letter lol :icon_redf ) but i think it would be at least better than if your sister outs you...? either way, my advice would be to try not to panic, speak to your sister, gauge your parents' views, and try not to piss your little sister off! (*hug*) and welcome to ec, by the way! nice to see another lesbian here, we're a little under-numbered.
Haha, I actually did hear about Jodie Foster... :icon_lol: My sister is very accepting of gays, which is strange. But she still won't hesitate to call me a faggot, and I'm not sure if that's some new trend or not =/ The problem here is, most of my immediate family has already guessed/asked me if I'm gay. That could be a good thing, but I am so not ready for any of that... I figured I should at least wait until I'm eighteen, if not early twenties... So, I tend to deny it a lot. But, I do plan to come out to my older sister fairly soon... She's been involved with girls before and some of her best friends are gay, so I know I'm good there. My mom as well is very supporting. And then there's my dad. He's from Iran, but really Americanized... And a really big right-wing republican. He's not explicitly anti-gay, but I know he doesn't like it... Which is why I'd like to see this situation not end badly, because it won't be good if my sister suddenly gets mad and outs me.
well, with the family members who've guessed and you think would be accepting, don't think you have to wait unless you need to. i felt like that with my parents; i felt like i should wait several years or so, to be sure or whatever; and (you can read my coming out post on the other board) actually, i just bit the bullet and decided to sod the waiting, and it turned out great! i am so glad i didn't torture myself in silence for years. i'm not saying your parents will be the same, but i am saying that the earlier you feel comfortable coming out, the better. don't force yourself to wait. even if they take a while to get used to it, the earlier you tell them, the sooner they'll come round, right? :icon_wink
