Recently I came out to my two best friends ( SUPER excepting and supportive btw) and it was kind of a big deal for me so i talked about it for a little bit. The thing is I still wanna talk about it. Im going through an over whelming time right now and I like talking to my friends about my feelings and stuff and they are really good listeners and can give decent support and advice. I know I cant rely on them for everything and i am seeking professional counseling, but talking with bros is a different experience that has different benefits. I like to talk about me and things that interest me. who dosent? And as i come to terms with accepting my self it always nice to have an open ear and a shoulder to cry on (Something ive already taken advantage of. Im just worried that the topic would be awkward if I was talking about less serious stuff or during a less serious conversation. Like if i wanted to say how it would be nice to have a bf, I think it would be hella awkward, But Ive heard All of their lady problems, and while i want to say"well its the exact same sort of thing" it really is even if it should be. If one is going to tell me stuff he did with his gf (wink wink, nudge nudge). He can at least listen to some of my stuff Although sometimes i think im worrying for nothing. Im still not able to say certain words out loud and some how anything that falls under the topic of my sexuality is a giant metaphor for me and cake. One of my friends is actually getting annoyed because it can get really confusing. I Want to talk about ti with them, im just not comfortable with it just yet i guess. I have been stretching the boundaries of my comfort zone quite a bit though something im quite proud of. So i guess my problems are these. 1) how can i talk about this stuff with out making it awkward? (the stuff they tell me its only fair that i can talk about guy troubles) 2) How can i get more comfortable with talking about it? Its not going anywhere fast so i might as well get used to it 3) just general straight people advice i guess. I just dont want them saying I talk about certain things to much when i have listened for all the thing my friend want in a girl and a relationship with said girl. Bluh
I just talk chicks with them lol, but I also dig chicks. I'm bi, I sorta lean that way. BUT I drop feelings about guys the exact same way. However, I don't keep beating it into them, I just keep it casual. Guys rarely come up, usually just chicks. But, from that limited experience I do - I'd say just go about things casually while not making a big deal out of it. If you're casual about it, they will be too.
It's probably mostly you that feels awkward about it, since they have given no signs of homophobia. As long as you don't seem to be talking about them, it will probably be fine. What I mean to say is, this issue is mostly about your comfort, rather than theirs. So you need to work on self-acceptance. It won't be awkward unless you are awkward about it.
If you want to talk about it casually, then talk about it casually. Since they are very supportive, they probably won't mind helping you out some. As for you feeling comfortable, just tell yourself you're doing the same thing they're doing, just talking about guys. It's the same thing, really, just about different people.
People do this all the time, with all sorts of things. It's like coming out for a lot of people, they have their inner homophobia and project it on to everyone. Try not to think of yourself as a different kind of person. They took very well it sounds like, and truly do not care. So you are just three friends, they happen to like chicks, and you happen to like dicks. lol. They knew what you meant when you came out.
Since what you're talking about is usually analogous to what they deal with, why not start with them, and work your way over? For instance, you might say to a friend with a girlfriend, "You met Jenny at the concert, right? How'd that happen? She was just standing near you, and you started talking between the acts? That's cool. I don't know if that would ever work for me, though. I mean, the chances that he'd be gay would be so low, so I don't know if I'd even bother getting my hopes up if I ended up chatting with somebody like that." Lex
I can relate a lot actually. My friends have known about me a lot longer, and I still choose to never bring it up in conversation. My advice would be to do it sooner rather than later. I think the longer you make a habit of keeping it something you just don't bring into conversation, the more you and your friends accept it as just something that doesn't need to be talked about anymore.
I second this. The first person I came out to I hardly speak with about it (in fact, I think I've only ever talked with him about it over text). The second person I've discussed with since, and it's much easier to talk with her about it. For me, it feels like that moment has passed with the first guy, that if I were to bring it up now, it would seem rather awkward (even though I know he wouldn't have problems with it). Plus, if nothing else, encouraging yourself to do it sooner rather than later also shows to the people you're speaking with that you're comfortable with the subject. And even if you aren't, talking about it readily will certainly help. A bit of a "fake it till you make it" kinda thing IMO.
