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Date with a whore!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by fragomatrick, Dec 17, 2011.

  1. fragomatrick

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    I have asked out by a 21 year old who says had sex with more than 100 men.
    His justification was that with 40 he had anal sex and with the rest was just blow jobs.
    I thought initially that he was saying that to sound cool.But, he is not lying! He is a whore!
    p.s.- He has taken in cum of 20 different men.
    HE IS INSANELY HOT!

    You guys know him as much as I do. Except that he is a glib talker.
    My question is
    WOULD YOU DATE THIS WHORE?!

    My question is
    Would you go out with this person?!
    this ..this source of all stds!
    he thinks he is safe btw!

    Sigh.
    It's been a month since I have been trying to go out on dates.
    I have only met people like him!
     
  2. starfish

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    I would, but I recommend that you don't. You have clearly already judged him.
     
  3. malachite

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    I'd ask his ass to get tested, hot or not he ain't worth catching anything.

    Tell ya something else just because you've slept with 100 men doesn't mean your good at it. Like you said, he is HOT, which means he's never had to work at getting laid, so he doesn't HAVE to be good at it.
     
  4. Zontar

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    Is this a joke?

    I would highly suggest you not date someone like this. With over 100 partners, he almost certainly has AIDS. I would not take that chance.

    I don't care how hot he is, if he had any damn self-respect, he would've been more judicious with choosing his partners. Careless people like this are the reason AIDS won't go away.
     
  5. fragomatrick

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    This isn't a joke and I asked him if he is seeing any doctor for his illness:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I was thinking the same. Wouldn't go out with him.
    Thank you for your replies.
     
  6. Owen

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    Here's what I'd do if I were in your shoes. If he seemed like a nice guy and we got along, we'd go get tested together, and as long as he doesn't have anything too severe, I'd go out with him. Of course, we could still be friends if he did have something severe. If we did go out and we became sexual, I'd still mandate that we use a condom when have sex, unless he agreed to monogamy, and even then, I'd have to trust him enough to believe him.

    Why is my tone much more neutral than that of the replies so far in this thread? Because I'm not a slut-shamer, and honestly, I'm really quite appalled by the amount of slut-shaming going on in this thread (hell, I was appalled by the slut-shaming in the title alone, but that doesn't compare to the slut-shaming in your first post). Shaming a guy for having sex with numerous partners is no better than shaming a guy for never having had sex. Even if he did so irresponsibly (which you can never assume from numbers alone, or even their attitudes), what is shaming him for it going to accomplish? Nothing.

    I'll end by echoing what starfish said in your other thread, because I think it's spot on.

     
  7. breakingboxes

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    I have to agree with Owen and especially starfish.
     
  8. Hana Solo

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    I have to agree with Starfish and Owen and BB. By the use of the word 'whore' you have clearly prejudged him and have no respect for him so I wouldn't.
     
  9. Emergelove

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    ^ what Owen wrote.

    I could not help but notice that the person is already relegated to a shaming category. I categorize too, when I don't like to be shamed or categorized myself. :/

    HIV test can be frequently negative for 3 months after exposure and rarely upto 6 months. So protection at all times until you are assured of monogamy on both of your parts is advisable.
     
  10. Revan

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    Well two things. First to Zontar, on one hand I get where you're coming from because i mean sex with over 10 alone is kinda disturbing (though 10 is still kinda blah too) but I mean same time, my former roommate is still without HIV/AIDS, or any STDs and he's slept with like 100-150 guys already in three years. Don't get me wrong I'm not condoning him doing this, I think he has no self-respect, and I mean hell the amount of times he's come worrying to me about thinking he has something and i have to comfort him and tell him to wait till he gets results back, and then soon as he gets a negative response, he goes back and does it again -_-...but just claiming someone who has sex with over 100 guys does not mean an automatic "AIDS" result, and remember, it's HIV before AIDS.....

    And two, to the OP, it's your decision, but if you really wanna date you I'd take it one step further, drag his ass to the clinic. But to be honest, he'd probably cheat on you.
     
  11. No One

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    I am all for giving people chances. Just because he has had sex with a lot of different guys doesnt necessarily make him a whore, or show that he can't be faithful.

    I agree with Starfish; You have already judged him--pretty harshly I might add--and it really wouldnt be fair to him to be in a relationship like that. Besides, heading into a relationship with that kind of attitude is setting yourself up for failure.
     
  12. Ben

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    Yep : )

    Some people like to get around a bit. There's nothing wrong with that as long as they're staying safe and getting tested regularly. Because let's face it, doing the nasty is actually pretty nice. But it sounds like you've made your mind up already, so it's probably best for both of you if you keep out of each other's way.
     
  13. Chip

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    This is someone who likely has some issues. While there are some people who are completely well adjusted and just simply love sex and have a lot of it, the vast majority of people who hook up that frequently are seeking something that they aren't getting.

    It's counterintuitive, but sometimes really hot guys have a very hard time finding really meaningful relationships. The reason is that everyone puts them on a pedestal, and many times, the guys approaching them only want to have sex... which, in turn, is hurtful, because then the hot guy starts to feel like an object rather than a person to be loved and cared for. I've heard this from a surprising number of very hot guys. And so, over time, they get cynical and assume that everyone is going to use them, so they respond defensively.

    It's also possible the person didn't get the sort of support and love he needed growing up, so he's seeking out physical activity as a means of convincing himself he is loveable. Or maybe, as a result of people using him, he's afraid of real commitment and by keeping sex as just a physical activity for release, he's able to feel closeness in a "safe" way, knowing that he doesn't have to deal with the fear of real emotional intimacy.

    The only problem is, people like that, when they do try and enter a monogamous relationship, often have problems being faithful because the underlying fear of intimacy often causes them to act out and cheat.

    In any case, if you're looking for a healthy relationship, this guy would likely be a challenge, for the above reasons. If it were me, I'd probably choose someone else. But if you had a real heart-to-heart conversation with him and discussed what's going on, it's possible that something meaningful could come out of it. Just be cautious... if I did enter a relationship with someone like this, I'd make sure he gets tested AND have a deep conversation about how often he has unsafe sex (I guarantee he isn't always safe), and insist that sexual encounters remain safe for a very long time (maybe a year or more).
     
  14. Bolin

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    Personally, I wouldn't. Mainly because I would want somebody who hasn't had a sexual partner or has only had a few. Something doesn't sit well with me on this...he's my age and has already had over a hundred sexual partners...I can't even fathom that.

    I would recommend you stay cautious, and follow Owen's advice since he seemed to hit the nail on the head. Although, from what you've written, I think you've already made your decision.
     
  15. Lexington

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    I'd befriend him. I'd possibly even go to bed with him. But I don't know if I'd date him. Not unless his attitude was "I used to sleep around a lot, but now I'd like to actually start dating, stick with one guy, get to know him more." That's sort of what my partner was like when I met him. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  16. Mogget

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    I know a guy who had slept with hundreds of people before finding a boyfriend whom he was in a committed and monogamous relationship with. He may even have been in other committed and monogamous relationships before that one, I don't know. And he didn't have HIV, even though his boyfriend did.

    That said, you shouldn't date this guy. If you can't respect someone who's had a lot of sex, and you clearly can't, the relationship won't work.
     
  17. insidehappy

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    you are calling him a whore, you think he is a source of stds and the only thing that you seem to think is good about him are his looks. so do not go out with him. find someone you really like and maybe where you met him, dont look for others people in that place or way.
     
  18. fragomatrick

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    Yeah, I am not going out to go out with him. I will tell him that tonight.
    Thank you all for your posts.
     
  19. Countervail

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    Do not date him, who knows you might become too into him and he asks you to have sex w/o using any protection because you just liked him so much that you want to eat him, I know it sounds ridiculous but you might compromise your health for that.
     
  20. Sunandmoon

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    I wouldn't even talk to someone after they told me something like that. Sex isn't something you don't give out to 100 people imo, gay or straight or anything.