what if your teacher came out?

I'd like to tell you an honest opinion, since I'm only 23 and just graduated last year, but in all honesty? I really don't know what to do.

Situation # 1 - You stay at the school and come out. Students who have had you in previous years may have seen you living a lie. No offense meant in phrasing. I just see it as, "well, why did you feel like you had to hide?" "Maybe I can hide too, then come out much later." It could backfire in those regards. It could make it seem like there was something wrong with being gay.

Situation # 2 - You stay at the school and come out. Students who have had you in previous years may see it as a very brave thing to do and may not want to repeat your mistakes. It might inspire a couple to come out and you can stand tall as an LGBT guy that has made it.

My guy is telling me situation # 2 is the most likely, but I'm also held back and reserved because there's a slight possibility that it could backfire against you as well.

Situation # 3 - You move schools as gay. Your previous students find out about it and believe you moved because you did feel ashamed, "why would you move?" On the other hand your new students could see it as inspiring. But, once they hear about your previous school - if it's the same district? It'll follow you, probably. No offense, it just seems like running away rather than a new start from a younger perspective.

Thus, I'd say stay at your school and hope for the best. Once again, #2 seems the most likely but be ready for it to possibly backfire for some students and to be there especially for them. Switching schools to come out and start anew just seems like too complicated a thing to grasp, especially when younger people naturally go to the worst possible answer. Me among them. I'm still developing as well. As per straight students? To be honest, unless you're in a backwards school district where the parents are homophobic, it's gonna make no real difference to them unless you're completely opposite of the stereotype -- that'd probably educate them in those regards. If this is younger or much younger than high school? The situations above are unlikely since that'll probably go over some heads - BUT it'd show a positive role model to gay students who have known from an early age... Hope that helps.

 

Honestly, my life would have been much better if one of my teachers came out. At least it would have made me think about it. Bring the thought into foreground.

As for you.. I really don't know. I mean, your life is going to change drastically no matter what. You are splitting with your wife, which must be devastating on its own. I guess it is hard to speak to your kids too, but seeing that they are adults, I hope it won't be a problem.
What I am saying is that you have already made the decision to turn your life upside down, with family, the center of your world. Why not go all in?
As for expected results.. well.. I would assume it will depend on your image in school. Do students generally like you? Do coworkers? Seeing that you are hesitant to change school, I guess you have a good relationship with those people. So maybe you can expect positive reactions.
On another note, you probably want to get into a gay relationship now. In order to make that a possibility, you will need to be out. Old students will know.
In the worst case, you can change school next year.

 

We had a teacher who had a same-sex partner. We weren't supposed to know about it, but it wasn't much of a secret. We thought they were adorable.... we'd see them around town holding hands. I consider them the best role-models we had in school - the organisation as a whole left much to be desired.

 

I had a lesbian teacher, not much happened when she came out. There were just some people that were surprised, but there were not any bad reactions.

 

Now that I think about it, one of my teachers was a lesbian, just goes to show. I mean, it's just a very common thing now. Unless it's in a twilight zone conservative area, no one's really going to make a big deal out of it.

 

An Iowa teacher on here? That's awesome.

I went to Catholic schools for 13 years (if you are from Iowa I suppose you could probably speculate as to which ones I attended >.< ) and I really have no experience with what is an is not acceptable to discuss in a public school. I mean, at my school for a teacher to not be Catholic is controversial, and I only recall ever having one teacher who stood up and said he didn't understand what was wrong with being gay. He was of some protestant denomination. Methodist I believe.

 

I realize this isn't exactly the same, but when I was in high school a teacher got a sex change operation over the summer. He left as George and came back as Julie or something like that. I'm not going to lie: people thought it was pretty strange. But my sister went to the same high school just a few years later, and everyone was completely over it.

My point is, everyone loves a good story and they'll certainly talk about it when it happens. But give it a couple of years and no one will care. Most importantly, as others have pointed out, your students will be able to benefit from having an LGBT role model.

 

I highly recommend reading "1 Teacher in 10: LGBTQ Educators Share their Stories." It's a great book, and each chapter is written by a different teacher from around the country, so they all have different perspectives.

 

I don't have much to add, but I want to tell you that I think this could be a really positive thing (and not just for you), and good luck!

 

One of my teachers in school was gay but I didn't know until later when someone mentioned it. I wish I had known, it would have been so helpful to me just to know. I never knew of any queer people back then.

 

Good luck, and let us know how it turns out.

 

I don't know if it helps, but this YouTuber is an, at least partially, out queer teacher. And they seem very friendly so maybe they would share some personal experience/advice with you. :rolle:

[YOUTUBE]D3LdDWDus_g[/YOUTUBE]

Good luck!

 

There's a gay teacher at my school. He's an arse, but thats just him lol. I hated him before I knew he was gay. He taught Crossroads- aka sex education for seniors- and always pried into my private life and got told to butt out. Then pried again :dry: but the fact that I hate him has nothing to do with him being gay and he hasn't recieved any negative feedback for it that I know of.

 

I wish there was a gay teacher at my school, no matter if I even spoke to them or not, if I liked them or avoided them – I don't know anyone else who is LGBT, so it would be good to know of even one other, though I might never speak to them. I am aware that as I get older I will probably get to know others wh are gay/bi.

As for how your students would react, I couldn't say as I'm on the other side of the Atlantic. However, if a teacher came out at my school I think the reaction would be something of a collective shrug from the students. It woud depend on the teacher, though – people might think Mrs M. even better if she was gay, but wonder why Mrs D ever told anyone about her sexuality if she was.

 

I'm from a VERY conservative area, and there a couple of stories I can think of off the top of my head. One of the Spanish teachers at my junior high came out as lesbian when she moved up to the high school level. A few students and teachers around town thought it was scandalous, but it really wasn't a big deal.

My high school principal apparently had a coming out party a few years before I went there. It was fairly well known that he was gay, but he was still pretty low-key about it, and it was always gossipped about (in a good way) whenever a student saw him around town holding hands with his boyfriend.

The only controversy I could see about your coming out is that you've been married for so long. People might see homosexuality as responsible for "destroying" your family. That will just take some explaining, and you'll have to be very open about your struggles.

 

I think having more visibility of LGBT educators would be incredible. I had a grade 9 teacher who was a Lesbian but she wasn't visible at school as a lesbian. I feel that if she had identified as a Lesbian more openly it might have helped reduce the amount of internalized homophobia that some of the students were likely subjected to in my junior high and high school.

I think it's going to become more important as time goes on for the visibility of LGBT people to make the next generation not face the same tribulations as this generation did in coming out. I'd imagine it's hard enough accepting yourself to be gay without all the societal fears that come with it.

Good luck 55butnotalive, let us know how it goes!