tired of being in the closet. is this normal or is this something else?

Sexuality is fluid. Now you may identify as gay- but there is a possibility that you may fall in love with a woman later. You're still struggling so it may seem huge to you. I know it seems huge to me sometimes and I'm still struggling to come to terms with my own orientation.

The closet is stifling. I'm still hiding in it. But what I've asked myself is: ill I be happier if I come out?
No. I'll be bullied, I know, because they have bullied me all my school life, so I'll spend my last year in the closet unless someone outs me. I hope that doesn't happen...

I'm really worried too. Because I sometimes find myself admiring guys. Even though I want girls, and the thought of a relationship with a guy freaks me out, I still find myself admiring them from a distance. So I do identify as gay, even though I am still minorly attacted to guys. But my problems are the same.

So I know where you're coming from and am willing to be a listening ear I'm sick of being ashamed of what I am too. Not that it helps at all.

(*hug*)

 

I'm going to quote my dad because he really helped me to accept who I am.


You can't let this questioning and doubting you have with you're sexuality dictate your life. You have been given an amazing gift - sure I don't know you, but I know you have, but you're focused on this one thing. And it's taking you away from the gift you've been given.

If you are, you are. If you're not, you're not. Don't worry about it. This is the here and now. You feel you are now, but if you find out later that you no longer are, then ok. Why? Because at the end of the day, you're still you. Your sexuality is only a small, small part of you. Don't focus on just that. Focus on everything else. If you just dwell and stress over your sexuality because you're not sure, it'll rear its ugly head in some way. And I hope to God that you'll be ok.

Enjoy what you have been given, don't let life pass you by because you have doubts...just live life.


Those were, more or less, my dad's words to me. But if you ever need anyone to talk to or something, we're all here (&&&)

 

As it has been stated above, sexuality is a spectrum. I never know what to tell people when I come out to them. Usually I just say gay, and then the more in depth I get into it I just end up being like... "yeah okay, so I do find girls attractive, I just have never done anything with them and quite honestly don't see myself being able to be 'the man' like that."

Be as detailed as you want to be. Tell people exactly what you want to, and most importantly, do not be a slave to a label. Words are tools, and as such should serve us to improve our quality of life. We should never alter our behavior to fit a label better. Best of luck (*hug*)