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i need advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by greatfulyslow, Dec 18, 2011.

  1. greatfulyslow

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So like I have stated before being gay is frustrating! I know I need to tell my sister I'm gay but I'm afraid not because I don't think she will never talk to me again cuz she will! I think it will break her heart in a way and when I tell her it will make it all real for me like really real! I still haven't told my parents and I don't want to right at the moment. See the thing is my brother is gay and out to everyone my parents don't hate him but they don't like talk about it either my sister is the same way! I feel like its going to be harder to come out bc then instead of just 1 gay in the family there will be 2! I think my parents were harder on me growing up then my older and younger siblings and I know they won't take it as well when I tell them about me vs when my brother said it! I have always been the child that can never be good enough! I'm a college graduate and in my job I literally help people who are injured and sick(EMS) and I'm still not good enough! My brother has no advice for me either which doesn't help! Grr my stomach hurts just thinking ab:icon_biggout it!
     
  2. Dalmatian

    Full Member

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    Do you really have an alternative? I mean, there are some objectively acceptable reasons not to come out to parents; for example, if you are a teen dependent on them for money, food, home.. or if they are very religious and you need time to ease them into the idea of homosexuality. However, that doesn't play here; they are already ok (more or less) with your brother being gay, so they will, although maybe hesitantly, accept you too. Coming out is always hard, but in this case I don't think you are getting anything by waiting. And anyway, you are first coming out to your sister; that will make it more comfortable to you as well. Right?
     
  3. Marlowe

    Full Member

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    This sounds like a tough situation. For a while I was worried that my brother was gay and that if I didn't come out soon, I would be the kid who ruined my parents dreams. It actually turns out that he is totally not gay. But the fact is that as unpleasant is could be for you, you are Bi, and ruminating on the endless possibilities of how they might not take it so well, won't change this fact. Plus, that they have accepted your brother means that they may not be happy but they won't go ape-shit on you - not that I am setting the bar that low. Also, you should pester your brother a bit more. I think siblings are the best resources in dealing with parents.