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Coming To Terms

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by LdSlnce, Dec 20, 2011.

  1. LdSlnce

    LdSlnce Guest

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    This is not for me, but for those who have a hard time accepting how they feel. I keep quoting my dad, so I decided that I might as well put what he said to me. Kinda...I'm going to go off what he said, but I'll change it because...I can't remember it completely!



    You are still you, nothing about you has changed. You are still the same beautiful individual that you have always been. You're sexuality is only a small part of you! Don't dwell on it! You have been given a gift that you might not being seeing because you're stressing over it or something.

    If you're doubting yourself because you're thinking it's a phase - don't. If it's a phase, ok! This is how you feel now. If that's what people keep telling you, tell them that this is how you feel now and that it might not go away.

    When you come out, make sure that you prepare yourself for all possible reactions. Put yourself in Y's place. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. You aren't always going to get a positive reaction, but don't let that deter you. You can't let a negative reaction influence you too much. To begin with, you need to come to terms with your sexuality! Don't tell people if you still aren't ok with it at most. Once you’re ok with it, tell someone who you figure will be fine with it. Work from there...

    Lastly, if you are…disgusted with being the way you are, you need to stop. I believe in God, and this is something that made me really scared. I was scared that God wouldn’t love me anymore because of my sexuality. Why would he? That was what I kept asking, but it was silly… At the end of the day, there will always be someone who loves you. Don’t forget that. You are not disgusting. Just because you happen to be bisexual, transsexual, homosexual, pansexual, asexual, and whatever else you can think of, doesn’t make you any less of a person. If people shun you, then they aren’t worth it. My friend, who I have known for a year, doesn’t want to talk to me. Does it hurt? Not really, but it hurt at the moment because he was a close friend. The point is, if they are meant to be in your life, they’ll be ok with it. Maybe they’ll pull away and shun you for a while, but they just might come back and say sorry. And you have to try and understand that.



    This is what I have to say – just my words.



    It is hard to accept yourself sometimes…and even when you do, it still might be hard. For years, rejecting a part of me became normal. And Misery was a close friend. I made a lot of friends during that time: Self Hatred, Sadness, Grief, Disgust, Guilt, and so many more. But now, I hardly get a visit from them. Yes, I still sometimes experience these negative emotions that can tear you up inside, but no one said it was going to be easy. It can be a long, painful journey if you let it. But you can make it better than what a lot of people go through. You just need to…not focus on it.

    Your sexuality is not all of who you are as an individual. It is only a small part. You are a human being – just like everyone else. Your sexuality? It really isn’t as big a deal as many think. You have been given some type of gift that you may be blind to because you are so focused on what your sexuality is. Sometimes, when I’m just reading posts, I feel so sad; there are so many that have not come to terms with themselves, and they seem to be really focused on this one small detail. It tears me up because they have so much to offer. It tears me up because they might be blind to the gift they have been given. It tears me up because their focus on discovering their sexuality is hurting them. It tears me up because that’s exactly how I, and many others, were and are. When I read some stuff, I do want to cry. And that itself is a bit of a shocker; I’m not one for tears.

    But please, please try and take your focus off of this one minor detail. I promise that if you do, you’ll see how truly amazing it is to just be you. I was so caught up in trying to figure out whether or not I was going through a phase that I didn’t truly see how lucky I am. I have been given to amazing younger brothers that I have been given the privilege to get to know, something that I had to miss out on with my two older brothers. I have been given parents who love me so strongly. I have been given a family who is far better than I deserve. And I have been given so many gifts that I’m starting to explore. One of which is an understanding heart. And that was all in 2 or so days. In that amount of time, I realized how much I was missing out on while I was consumed with trying to finally get a grip on my sexuality. And you know what? I finally did after I stopped focusing on it.



    It isn't amazing or anything, but I hope it means something to someone. If it does, well this post has fulfilled its purpose :thumbsup: