Curiouser and curiouser...

This story is cute. You shouldn't question yourself so much, just enjoy what you enjoy.

 

Alternating bisexual.

I'm mostly this as well. Basically after you tire of girls, your mind goes to guys. After you tire of guys, your mind goes to girls. It's rather complicated and forever confusing lol. Literally - dreaming about guys only to wake up lusting after girls or vice-versa. But, that seems to be on a never ending path.

The one part about guys that does rock is being able to let your guard down. Around girls, I've always felt like I had to be ultra-masculine to keep them around and ward off any competition. The whole alpha dog thing. On the LGBT side, that's diminished. It has other complications, but it does have a freer aspect of being able to totally be yourself without having to be the alpha dog.

Also whenever things went bad with a partner of a certain gender, I've always found myself bouncing to the other for a while (rather than fluctuating normally, for some time I feel like I only want guys or girls in my life). If a girl leaves, I wind up in the arms of a guy. If a guy leaves, I wind up wrapping my arms around a girl. I think it is just part of the 'alternating' thing.

 

I dont think that having your heart broken, or splitting up with opposite sex partners can make you curious about the same sex, as you said in your post you were always curious. That being said there is nothing wrong with it, even if you never want to go any further with a guy just enjoy going to the bar and making friends nothing wrong with that.

 

If you're straight, you're not obliged to run screaming from gay guys, you know
And neither does hanging out with them or even dancing or kissing them make you gay, for that matter.

Simple fact is that attention and being understood are appreciated by anyone. While I don't think I'd ever want to date a girl long-term, I'm always honoured if one mentions interest. And some make for profoundly understanding conversation partners. And, frankly, being slightly flirty with girls can be fun.

And same goes for the gay guys you found, I think. Gay guys run the gamut from nice people to jerks, but many know quite a bit about what it feels like to be rejected, or how important it is to be accepted. So it seems you were lucky to run into those kind of guys.


Again, though, that doesn't mean I'd want to date those girls I mentioned above. I'm open to the option that one day I'd meet one that really does it for me, but so far that hasn't happened yet, and I never felt for any girl what I feel for some guys.

So I think the same probably goes for you. Don't feel guilty for being honoured or enjoying yourself with these guys, but don't feel obliged to feel more than you would for really good friends, as that way you'd only hurt them and yourself. If you ever do feel more for one than just friendship, it should definitely be stronger than what you describe above.

 

/\ I'd say that's coming from more of a gay pov on things though.

I don't know really any straight guys who kiss and dance with other guys unless they're an actor and their character happens to be bi or gay. You ask most? They'd say they have no interest in it at all. I think the best question here to ask is how these activities make you feel.

I haven't had sex with guys either. And similarly, unlike with girls, I've never really given it much thought either. Could it be interesting? Sure. Have I thought about sex? Not really. Just being intimate with guys in the other ways described and how nice it felt being around them. While I think about sex with girls and humping them bone dry lol, I just have never thought that way about guys, but I still know I'm bi due to everything else around me pointing that way. I just lean more towards girls.

Leaning towards girls, sure I'll have a lot more girlfriends than boyfriends. I might not even have a boyfriend. But, that still doesn't mean the interest isn't there - just that I haven't found 'him.' Billie Jo Armstrong of Green Day, who identifies or did (before his wife caught on), labeled himself as bi despite having a partly conservative mind thus not fully acting on it either.

Basically saying, from some aspect of the bi population, just because thinking about sex isn't there - if the other aspects are - it's likely that that's gonna follow. Some bi guys never do anything about it, but still know that they're bi. Sex isn't the end all, be all of sexuality. Other factors come into play.

 

I've had sex with about 7 girls and the only long term relationship I ever had was with a girl and we had sex almost daily for about 3.5 years.

I've had sex with one guy and it was a one-night stand.

I like sex with guys more. It doesn't take a lot to know what you prefer.

 

Once again, this is coming at it from a very narrowed point of view. Just like straight guys yelling at gay guys to just be straight because they can't understand why guys would ever give up girls. Hell, as a bi guy I'm even guilty of questioning gays in this way at times. Why do gay guys give up girls? Part of me knows this, but it still registers as questionable.

Bisexuality is a lot more fluid than that. Thus you see terms like pansexual and polysexual thrown around. When narrowing it down, we can often state a leaning. But, that's just it - a leaning. Where we end up. Most of the time you have us swinging back and forth. Having gay days and straight days or even gay weeks and straight weeks. In the bi world this is known as "ebb and flow." It's so common there's even a term for it lol. One day I can be more boy crazy than my sister, then the next - guys do absolutely nothing for me. On bi sites, I've read some guys have this problem sexually as well - some times it works wonders for them, other times they're absolutely neutral to the whole thing (same guy too). Thus, it's not really a rigid and solitary as it is for gays and straights whose compass points more in just one direction. And while, over time, we can narrow it down to some form of leaning - it does take time to see where that compass always ends back up.

Kinda why my best scenario is a girlfriend and a boyfriend lol. That'd rock.

 

I am bi Ian. I had that "ebb and flo" for a long time. Now that I have started transitioning and am not currently looking for a relationship at all, my sexual orientation has just kind of settled on the "straight" side of things. There are still some girls I think are attractive but I don't really think about sex with them at all at this point in my life.

The "ebb and flo" used to make me extremely uncomfortable while I was with my ex. There were times where I would find her attractive and would want to be intimate with her and other times where she was just a friend and I was just not in the mood to do anything physical at all. It's a little different for me though because my body is so repulsive to me that my gender dysphoria would muddy up my sexual orientation quite a bit.

 

Oh, sorry about the confusion then. Just usually hear "prefer" as in completely one-way or another while 'leaning' connected with the whole swinging pendulum effect lol.

The "ebb and flow" is really weird. It's kinda why my 'dream life' is 'The Two Of Us' or 'Home at the End of the World' lol. Whole rocking polyamorous thing.

 

You should read "Stranger in a Strange Land." It's an old '60s sci-fi that advocated polyamourism. It's pretty awesome.

 

Are you bi? Likely you are to some extent, however I believe most people are. You should stop worrying about trying to fit into a label and just be yourself. You seem like a pretty open minded guy so I don't think that should be too hard.

And if you find a cute guy don't be afraid to "experiment"... for science of course =P

 

Amero: back to the subject. Enjoying the company gay guys doesn't make you gay. If you flipped it around it wouldn't make sense. Being a gay guy, I enjoy the company of straight guys: that doesn't make me straight. The fact that you're comfortable around non-judgmental people isn't surprising at all. Have fun and enjoy your friends, whichever way they swing. Don't judge them or yourself. And if you get a thing for a girl in the future, go with it. Otherwise, have fun with the boys!