my mum already knows deep down that im gay and now since shes dating this guy, hes got into her head and said i need to b more of a man and do manly things. i mean come on im more str8 than he is. apparently my mum has been saying to my sister that im not really gay and saying that if iam its my fathers fault that im gay since he hasnt spent much time with me for the last 12 years, even though ive never been attracted to girls. she believes no one is born gay. i think its really disturbing that this guy thinks that a way to make u a man is by slaughtring animals and being massiving in love with guns. hes such a raging homophobe. he loves everything bush and howard and the radical right stand 4. i just dont know what to do. any advice?
to b honest ive given up trying to get her to b ok with me being gay, it just seems like a lost cause
how does everyone else in your family feel about it? maybe all she needs is for some more time. or maybe she needs to see you with a guy. so u have a boyfriend. maybe she's a "don't believe it until i see it" kinda thing. or try and find her research that says it's not something that people are "turned"....gay, that is... i'm sure there's links to sites that say that somehwere on this site **looks for help among other members**
**sees biisme struggling and offers help** Biisme has the right idea I think. Find a lot of reasearch that suggests people aren't "turned" gay. I know there's no concrete things about what decides orientation but all the people who have theories about it being natural can't all be wrong right? Plus she might see that all your efforts in trying to show her you can't be changed means that it's not changeable.
you could try printing out this booklet and giving it to her, http://www.fflag.org.uk/documents/GuideForFamilies.pdf there are lots of other resources by that orgaisation on there, such as this letter to parents, http://www.fflag.org.uk/content/view/31/26/ which you might find useful. it refutes all the myths about it being your father's fault etc. good luck with it, i hope your family will accept and show their love for you again soon. keep strong.
thank you EmperorDJT...i couldn't quite get out what i meant to say.. and thanks arneneithel!...i KNEW there were websites
You mentioned a sister in your 1st post. Are you very close to your sister? Would it be possible to get her on your side, so that you can confront your mum as a 'united front'? As for this guy that is dating your mum, well, as you're 19, he has no say in your life anyway. Don't allow his problem to become yours - let him do the worrying!
You're 19 now, mate. Couldn't you take off? Get your own place? It sounds like it's about time to do so.
i really don't know how to help but you could try leaving things around the place that let them know that you are gay.
I understand your problem and that was my issue actually. I had no money and needed to get out of the house. If you can get a job and plan on doing it, you can. If there's a will, there's a way mate. You will do well, just set yourself a gameplan no matter what you do.
Lmao! That is brilliant. I actually laughed at that one. So nobody is allowed to be in denial arund you, huh? Hoping, it sounds like even if you can't move out now, you might be able to sometime in the not too distant future, so all I can say is that until then, you have to do what you can to avoid all of their anti-gay need to change you, and to not let them harm your self-image. But it really sucks that they are so stubborn and ignorant and bigoted.
i agree. it seems that all of this came around wen my mum started dating this guy. hes such a hardcore racist and homophobe.
