I have been thinking a lot about coming out lately. I have been sexually attracted to the same sex for quiet some time now. But now that I have been thinking about coming out it is like I find no one sexually attractive. I just don't understand before I would see a hot guy and that is all I would think about now I still think they are hot just don't really think about the sex part. Is this normal? Like I said in another post I have never been in a relationship with a guy and no interest in one with a girl. I really feel I am okay with being gay which is why I think I am almost ready to come out. I just find it kind of strange that when I think I will remain closeted my entire life I remain (for lack of a better word) horny towards all hot guys. Now I decide to come out and I get nothing. I don't know if it is because I want more, like a relationship, or if I have just changed. Either way I would like to know before I start coming out to anyone. I also wonder if I have just been thinking about coming out so much I can't think about anything else. Which makes me wonder should I just come out and get it over with. I am only thinking about telling a couple of family members at the moment. I really feel there is only about a 2% chance that they won't be supportive. Anyways has anyone shared a similar experience? Can anyone give me a little insight as to what all I am felling at the moment? Thanks
Maybe this is not exactly what you are experiencing, but here goes. I feel like when I was in the closet I spent of emotional energy thinking about being gay, hating it, hiding it, worrying about it, etc. I think this made me very aware of relationships I could never have. I think this constant awareness of my sexuality cause me to spend a lot of time thinking about guys and increased my sex drive. Once I made peace with myself and especially after I came out I spent a lot less time thinking about this. Right now I see hot guys, and I think they are hot, but I don't necessarily get physically aroused. I think this is because in accepting that I am gay, I accepted the emotional aspect of being attracted to men in addition to the physical. I also think it is because I just don't spend so much time worrying about it. It also might be because you are thinking of coming out, you are experiencing a lot of anxiety and this is getting rapped up in your sex drive. Honestly, having come out to my parents recently, I would say that there except if there is a specific event or a specific worry (like being financially dependent) you are worried about there is never a better time to tell your parents than others. It is a great and liberating feeling once you do it. In my case, I was only worried about what my parents would think so when I finally told them, it gave me freedom to tell whomever I wanted.
This is actually pretty common. If I had to theorize, I would say its because you just made a massive decision to come out, and you are just experience a large amount of anxiety about whether it was or was not the right decision. I think the best way to have your sex drive return more quickly is to attempt to feel more comfortable with your decision to come out to whomever you have and embrace your sexuality proudly.
