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Coming Out Advice A supportive place to ask for and give advice about coming out. Includes a sub-forum for posting stories about your coming out experiences.

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Old 26th Dec 2011, 07:17 AM   #1
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Default Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

So basically tonight was the night I ruined my good life. I hooked up using a certain iPhone app and ended up having oral. So before I met this guy I jumped over my fence and cut my hand which then bleed. I then met up with the guy and we had oral- I sucked him off and he sucked me using a condom each time. But then after I realized about my cut and that semen may have somehow got into it and even though he says he is negative and has been tested I could get infected. I've never done anything this stupid before. Should I see a doctor straight away tomorrow or something? Help please. It was the first time for me.
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Old 26th Dec 2011, 07:38 AM   #2
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

Relax, dear one, you are probably fine tonight if he is negative and tested.

But if you are going to become sexually active, get yourself tested Every 6 Months, because if its not cuts outside, then it would be like cuts in your mouth due to dryness or inflammation or condoms breaking, or whatever else.
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Old 26th Dec 2011, 09:05 AM   #3
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

I won't say there's ZERO chance of infection from the route you described, but the odds are so low (even assuming he IS HIV+) that it's well-nigh zero. Despite what is often thought, the HIV-virus is actually pretty fragile. Nearly all cases of transmission involve it being transmitted directly from body-to-body without any contact with the open air (unprotected vaginal or anal sex, or the sharing of hypodermics). I can't say as I've ever heard of a transmission case through an open wound on the outside of the body. KB probably can provide some more thorough insight.

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Old 26th Dec 2011, 09:16 AM   #4
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

If it is a concern for you, than you should go to the doctor. If it will make you feel better, than it is worth it.
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Old 26th Dec 2011, 11:54 AM   #5
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

A test in less than 3 or 4 weeks won't tell you much (unless you get the really expensive test that measures for presence of the virus, rather than the antibodies to it.) So going to the doctor won't do you much good right now anyway.

But for the reasons Lex said, your risk is pretty low. If you're really concerned, just wait 3 or 4 weeks and get tested... and perhaps use the opportunity more as a chance for you to think about how important those sort of hookups are to you in proportion to the safety and risk factors and how you feel. I'm not saying not to have hookups, only to balance your personal level of risk tolerance for them.
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Old 26th Dec 2011, 08:04 PM   #6
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

Even though the risk is probably low should I go to the doctor? I think in Australia you can go to the Emergency department of hospitals and they can give you PEP. I can't believe I would be so damn stupid.
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Old 26th Dec 2011, 08:25 PM   #7
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

If it will make you feel better, go to the doctor and explain the situation. My guess is they'd decline to give you the PEP because the risk is so low, but maybe it's worth a shot if nothing else than for your peace of mind.
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Old 26th Dec 2011, 08:31 PM   #8
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

wow, i TOTALLY remember when i did something like this too. it was last year and i cried on and off and was petrified. just to echo, hiv is extremely fragile and the air kills it, and i believe even the acids in saliva can kill it. again tests don't tell anything in under a month anyway. chances are slim that you contracted hiv. but as chip said, if it makes you feel better, go to the doctor. i went after a month and all was negative. and keep the 6 month rule no matter what and you'll learn like i did from this. i am much more careful now too.
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Old 26th Dec 2011, 08:36 PM   #9
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

Yeah, I just feel so depressed and empty right now not to mention completely ashamed of myself. And to make it worse- it was my first time as well. The guy was pretty nice and that and I guess besides all this worry it was ok. I'm just really scared of HIV.
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Old 26th Dec 2011, 08:50 PM   #10
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

Cool, I REALLY understand. I felt like an idiot, I went to a friend and cried and shook in fear that I may have contracted HIV, just from pursuing sex and all simply because I was horny! I was really ashamed too... "you should know better!" and a whole list of other things you've probably said to yourself. Even though what's done was done, it took a few days to realize I'm still a good guy and I am probably ok... let only good come from this Cool. And remember, you have a forum like this where you can speak to other folks who understand. I think you're gonna be ok man. Peace, Me

---------- Post added 26th Dec 2011 at 08:50 PM ----------

and btw, i'm still negative, but have to get checked again soon
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Old 26th Dec 2011, 08:56 PM   #11
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

HIV is an illness. It can be fatal. But these days, with treatment, it is usually possible to live with it for a very long time. It is wise to avoid high risk behaviors, but there is no point in endlessly torturing yourself about it when things go awry.

Take reasonable precautions. If something goes wrong, get checked. If you are sexually active, get checked regularly anyway, every 6 months. That way, if you do become infected, you can get treatment to manage the virus as early as possible.

Part of your problem is that you are freaking out because of having your first experience. It's not unusual to have some anxiety.

It's pretty unlikely that you were infected in the way you describe, with semen coming into light, incidental contact with a wound in open air. You don't even sound very sure there was any contact at all. But even if you were infected, worrying about it constantly is not going to improve anything. Go to the doctor for advice, if you need to, and restore your peace of mind.
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Old 28th Dec 2011, 03:40 AM   #12
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

Thanks so much for all the advice. I'm still super freaked out though. I can't stop thinking about it and the graze on my hand is still healing so every time I see my hand it reminds me that I may have got something (even though I probably/hopefully didn't). I wonder if I'm going to be like this even when/if I'm with a future boyfriend or something.

I think I have a HIV-phobia (which is probably normal to a certain extent) but to an extreme sense. I just wish I could forget the whole thing and go back so I could have stopped myself. I don't even know if I should tell this guy I'm worried about what happened. I blame this all on me being irresponsible, my bad coming out a few weeks ago, and well- hormones I guess.
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Old 28th Dec 2011, 04:36 AM   #13
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

I wouldn't tell the guy. He'd probably take it as an insult, that you were implying he's promiscuous or something.

And in the meantime, take some deep breaths, watch some excellent comedies to take your mind off things, and relax a little.
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Old 28th Dec 2011, 05:19 AM   #14
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Default Re: Urgent- I'm so scared/stupid

I've been watching American Dad haha. As for PEP I didn't go to the doctor because lots of the health clinics and the sexual health one were closed or the holidays and I would have to go to ER. My only other regret was what if I had this opportunity and didn't take it.
But I know I'm worrying a lot but I'm only 18 and I have never had to deal with anything like this. Looks like I may need another American Dad marathon.
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