Ok, so… this is kind of odd, but here it goes… I have accepted myself as pansexual, my friends are all cool with it, and I have mentioned it several times to my therapist. None of that is an issue, at all. I have been Wiccan for a long time, and therefor do not even consider the “Being gay goes against God” thing into my equation. Lately, however, I have been wondering if I should refuse to date / marry another woman, for the sake of my daughter. I don’t worry so much about her being able to handle it, she’s only 7 months old, she doesn’t know yet, and won’t for a while still. I mainly worry about other kids teasing her later in life, or my family treating her differently because of me. I’m already fully expecting to be disowned if I date / marry a woman, and I don’t want my daughter to be without her extended family because of me. So, should I just stick to men to spare my daughter? Also, I have been feeling extremely alone. I just need a cuddle buddy so bad…. But I don’t know how to meet people ((real people where I live anyway, im great at online friends)) anymore… its so hard when you’re 21 with a kid, most people assume you’re a whore, and I’m not! I was married, we are divorcing, it happens!!!!!
It's good that you consider your daughter's needs. It won't be good for her if you are miserable, though. It's hard to meet someone you are compatible with, even without limiting yourself. I guess if you are confident you will be able to meet a man, you could conceivably refrain from dating women. Hiding an important part of yourself may have serious psychological consequences though, which could also have an impact on your daughter.
idk about you but I would think having two moms would be the coolest thing ever, if people teased me about it I'd be like you're just jealous.
In current society you will see a lot of this (getting teased for having two moms or whatever) but it is becoming more and more accepted. By the time your daughter is in school, I would like to think we will have made even more progress. I think it will also depend on where she is going to school-- A more progressive city will be more likely to have other kids with GLBT parents, and she might not be as singled out. In a backwoods redneck town it might be more of an issue.
I say take whatever comes naturally, and if you fall in love with a woman, so be it. Then your daughter will have two strong women to reasure her, if she is ever picked on. She might develope a unique sense of justice.
I was best friends with a black girl adopted by a white lesbian couple in high school and no on ever made fun of her for it and I live in what can reasonably be described as a "backwoods redneck town." By the time your daughter is in high school it won't even be an issue anymore.
You should not be in a unhappy situation with a man just because your daughter MAY be teased when she goes to school in maybe 4 or 5 years. You need to do what healthy for you and meet someone that will make you happy. I do think its admirable of you to think of your daughter. I think that you in a healthy relationship would be better for your daughter in the long run. Society has changed so much, so quickly. You can not plan your future in what may or may not happen years from now.
I understand what you mean. It is very touching that you put so much thought into what is best for her. Honestly, though-- Kids are always going to find SOMETHING to bully other kids over. Having two moms, wearing glasses, being fat, being short... They will find something. Rather than trying to tend to each detail that might be picked on, I think it would be better to make sure she has a good support system of people who love her and make her feel confident enough to deal with the inevitable issues in life. If this means having two moms, then by all means, go for it. Through elementary and middle school, I got bullied for having a cop as a dad. Always really confused me. I never blamed my dad for it, I just thought the other kids were nutso.
