The past few days have been really weird, cause I know there is no doubt Im gay, but still I keep looking for ways to be "sure" eventhough I am already, but when Im alone, Im fine with it, I know I am, and I just want to be myself. But when Im with my family I start thinking I might not be gay and its just something Im making up to feel different from the rest of the people. Its just so confusing and really stressing, because Im thinking about it all the time!! :S and when a cute guy passes I look at him and immediatley I start looking around the room like a retard because I dont want my parents to find out, or I´ll just start talking about a pretty girl. The problem is, when Im alone again, Im ok with it!! and want to come out. Also, when I am alone and decide to stop thinking that I might be straight (or at least bi) but once I decide this I start feeling that Im giving up, and I shouldnt give up. The most stressful part is that I know I dont see women the way I see men, but once I accept this, I start searching for hot girls in the internet ato convince myself Im not gay, and it might just be a phase :help:
if your pretty sure you're gay and you want to come out if i were you id just take some deep breaths and just do it. do you have a grasp as to whether your family might be ok with it or not?
You are not alone! I have the same problem and I'm beginning to see this same theme in other posts that I've read, so it must be some part of the coming out process. I know that no matter what I can't have a successful relationship with a man because I don't want sex with men. I am attracted to women yet I've never had an experience with a woman to confirm that I am gay. So I just keep driving myself nuts. Like you, I also know the truth that I am gay but it is going to take more time to really accept it. Sometimes I totally embrace it and other times I question my authenticity: Am I really gay? I can only recommend patience and kindness with yourself. I think this whole thing of not trusting ourselves must be common as I have heard many others going through the same thing. So in the moments where I lack clarity I am putting faith in the fact that I am not alone and that others have successfully ridden out their periods of doubt. I know that someday I will be at peace with all of this...that day is just not today.
This is definitely a stage in coming out, at least for me it was. You are putting coming out so far up on a pedestal it has become all encompassing. I found that I had to change my thinking before I took the plunge and just did it.. I told myself, OK coming out is not about other people.. it is about me.. coming out to people is me doing them a favour, and being honest with my friends and family so they can understand and accept me further.. after that it was a bit easier, and now its done I don't regret it. People who love you will love you regardless, and those who don't - some come around, others aren't worth the effort. The joy of coming out is it gives you, the individual the ability to accept yourself without all the worries about others accepting you.
Yeah i really think this is just something everyone has to go through cause I'm still going through it too. The only advice that has so far helped me, part of which I've taken from help here and just me rationalizing is simple, you know you. Stop listening to everyone else. I know i haven't committed to this mindset yet cause this shits hard, but i really think you have to just do yourself a favor and block everyone out and just listen to your dick. You obvious don't have to act on anything until your ready but it might help you make up your mind. Its your life. Maybe you are bi or even straight, but maybe not. I really went through the whole "well maybe I'm bi" thing recently, until i realized that coming outs about being honest, so I really didn't want to start lying to myself some more. Don't rush anything, but also don't let anyone force you to define yourself cause thats fucked up too. Just go with it man and see where it takes you, try not to fight it. You see a cute guy, check him out a cute girl too? by all means, stare. But don't do it out of some misguided ideals that you have to. I know the more open I am with myself, even just by letting myself check out other guys, the more free I feel and I think it'll help you too. Hope this helps and keep us posted =]
Uhh yea im also in the same position as you and the other posters, I feel as if there is some part of me that want to believe that I am "bisexual" but yet the feelings for men are way much more stronger and don't want to completely believe that I only like other guys. I have even tried telling myself it is a phase and will grow out but so far with no avail. Yea I just feel so messed up right now and I can imagine many people do so im just going to take my time with this. This made perfect sense and made me laugh, thanks.
