So. I am in desperate need of advice. I really really want to come out, because deep down I know my life will be better, but I also know I'll have to go throught that "awkward" phase with everyone. So I just want to know what you guys think of all this: First of all, I have two very good friends (females) that I have a feeling would be very understanding. But EVERY time I'm about to tell them, I chicken out. Really annoying!:bang: Right now, we're on Winter Break so, if I were to come out to them over new year's, It would have to be by text/facebook message/phone call. My second option though, since I think most of my college campus is pretty accepting of homosexuals, would be to just come out over facebook, on January 1st. So...in conclusion... For just coming out to friends: ADVANTAGES: Easier, less stress, etc. DISADVANTAGES: I'd still be pretty much in the closet. And I feel I'm so ready to come out, that I'm scared that just coming out to them won't satisfy me (if that makes sense) And for coming out to everyone at once: ADVANTAGES: I'd be completely OUT! DISADVANTAGES: I would have to face a couple of super awkward weeks when I return to campus So my final questions to you guys are 1) Is it even a good idea to come out on New Year's Day? 2) Should I come out to just my two friends or to everyone at once? 3) If I came out on facebook, should I write a really long thing explaining everything, or just keep it short, simple, and to the point? ANY other advice would be GREATLY appreciated. I finally understand what people are talking about when they say that you just KNOW it's time to come out (sorry for the super long post...)
I think if you were to announce that you are gay via facebook, a simple status update may be the most effective and straightforward. Something like: "First resolution: come out! I'm gay and OK with it, everyone!" The simpler it is, the more likely people will feel like they may respond. A longer message usually means only those that are closer to you will respond with similarly long messages, and facebook isn't necessarily the best venue for long messages. However, I think if you were to write a status related to coming out, and then text your two close friends to check your facebook, you would be giving them the invitation to text you back, and text much more intimate or longer responses than they would be willing to post on facebook. OR, they will at least be the first to see your status and may be the first to "like" it or reply with positive responses. The period after coming out does not need to be awkward if you own up to it and speak about it in a casual, confident way. That's why I am in favor of tying it to your New Year's Resolution.
It's really up to you, but if it were me I'd probably text the friends first, since you've said you're pretty sure they'll be understanding - then you can talk to them and get a bit more confidence before posting your status update. I agree with the above, that if you do post a status update it should be short and sweet. Don't make a big deal of it, and others likely won't either. And coming out on New Year's as your resolution seems fine to me. It's not as stressful of a holiday as Christmas or Thanksgiving can be.
I have to say coming out on new years sounds like a good idea. But as the others have said I would text your friends first just because you know for the most part how they will take it. And as for a status up date I would wait for a bit. When you do that you are opening a really big door. Lots of people will find out and I dont know if you want that many people asking lots of questions all at once. That is why I told people one by one or some times two and three but never a status up date. But then again that was me and you know your self a lot better than any one. Do what you think is right. At the end of the day your happiness is all that matter.
There's no harm in doing both. Let your two friends know on the 31st that you'll be posting a status update on the 1st, and they should be on the lookout for it. Lex
