:bang: Maybe someone here can help me out! I am a 23 year old female. I have identified myself as straight as long as I've been old enough to not think boys had cooties. However, I've never been very feminine, I've never had a "happy endings" sexual encounter with a man. Seriously, never! I also have never had a good relationship with a man, actually to be more truthful I've pretty much never had what is considered a romantic relationship with anyone. Every significant relationship in my life is with a woman. Over all I just find myself disgusted with men. Not so much them in general but more so what they can do to women. I've been with a woman once and it was not a great experience, but she was my best friend (like sisters) and I think that made it strange instead of informative. Since then I've kissed girls but that's about as far as it's gone. But it was never because I didn't want to but because I feared how others would view me afterwards. I was military and it was scary. I'm a wimp, I know. But, I just don't know. I think a huge part of me is terrified of being a lesbian. I'm afraid of what my family (old school southern) will do. I couldn't handle it if my Mom disowned me. Am I a lesbian? And if so what do I do?
I think that you should explore your sexuality through masturbation to see what really interests you, then go from there
When I was questioning someone on here (can't remember who or I'd give you a shoutout) told me to look at women in normal situations, and men, and let myself feel attracted to women, and that really helped me.
Every time an opportunity presented itself, I shied away because I didn't want it to have a negative impact on my career or people's opinion of me. And now that I'm no longer in a place where having these feelings and acting on them could end my career I'm allowing myself to feel them and the thoughts of acting on them are overwhelming, the feeling of peace I have within myself is unbelievable. I think that I pretty much know that I am, I just have no clue how to tell the people I love, more or less because I know they will not approve. Idk what to do.
Them who love you will love you anyway, them who don't love you anymore because of your orientation aren't worth your time or energy (*hug*)
Well, you can start by making friends with some more accepting people. This doesn't mean that you'll cut anyone out of your life--it's just that it will give you some peace of mind, knowing that there are some people in your life that accept you for certain. Then, when you are ready, if you decide to come out to your old friends and family, you will at least know that even if it goes badly, you will still have some support. Do you have anyone in your life that you think might be accepting? Where you are, are there any activities for gay people that you could get involved in? Even if you aren't ready for anything like that, you might consider just being more vocal about your support for gay issues, like marriage equality--or since you are a military person, you could talk about DADT. If you are vocal about your support, other people who agree with you will be more likely to say so as well. And it will make you seem like a "safe" person to come out to, in case anyone else you know is gay. It will make people with gay-friendly ideas more likely to make friends with you, as well. In the long term, you will probably need to be a little more proactive, but it would be a good start.
I have friends that I assume would be accepting, but no one in my family would be. When I say old school southern that's what I mean. It's a phrase that could be easily replaced with hardcore republican conservatives. I don't live with them anymore, I live up north now. That's a really good idea that I didn't even really think about. The finding gay/lesbian groups/activities in my area. Maybe that's what I need to do, just find people in my area and establish myself here as a lesbian and then when I'm comfortable, just tell my family...
