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Would you react the same way?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by EnglishTeenS, Dec 29, 2011.

  1. EnglishTeenS

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Bristol
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    It has been a while since my last visit here, but I think I need this website more than ever ...

    At the moment me and my boyfriend of 4 months are on separate holidays in seperate countries, where we chat on skype every night. My boyfriend has a 2nd account under a fake name in which he has a lot of "Hookups" and "Gay friends" on there, I haven't really thought anything off it as he never goes on this account and I trust him.

    However last night I log on to see that the account is pending contact which means it must have been deleted, I was quite happy at the time and thought that he may have deleted the account as he no longer would need it. However when I brought it up with my boyfriend he told me he logged on to speak with his gay friend in the country he is visiting, however the guy was not online so he decided to delete some contacts; including mine (by accident apparently).

    He has also recently taken a step back into the closet after drunkenly confessing his homosexuality to me only to refer to himself as bi-sexual, so I am trying to tread lightly around the topic.

    Of course I have felt paranoia and doubt sweep over me and have felt awful for the last 24 hours so I told him what I thought. He basically told me not to worry and that he wouldn't cheat on me and he hasn't done anything wrong.

    I didn't accuse him off anything I just told him what was on my mind and how I felt, I believe being honest is important in a relationship even if you seem like a freak :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I just wanted to know if I have reacted to harshly or should just brush the whole thing aside and forget about it.

    Thanks to anyone who replies ... I need it :frowning2:
     
  2. WeirdnessMagnet

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Klein sexuality bottle
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    /Obligatory comment about bisexuality not always being a "phase" or a form of being closeted, and absence of any correlation between bisexuality and unfaithfulness./

    This is a tough place to be in, and yes, you have every right to feel jealous. It's difficult to say if he's telling the truth, I'd say him being upfront about it makes his story at least somewhat more credible, and maybe he's genuinely trying to leave his promiscuous past behind.

    /Obligatory comment about safe sex and mutual STI tests when you're back together. Whether anyone of you actually cheated or not, - some diseases can be transmitted by ways other than sex, and you don't know who stayed in your room before./
     
  3. nerdvain

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    How much do you trust him? Do you think he's okay and you overreacted? Or do you not trust him and seek verification here?

    In my humble opinion, you definitely didn't overreact or treat him too harshly. That circumstance would have had me freaking out. He came out to you as bi and is on this hookup account again where he deleted you. That's got the potential to be serious stuff.
    I would say not to pester him about it, but definitely don't let the issue disappear until you can be absolutely comfortable that nothing will come of it.
     
  4. summersforecast

    Full Member

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    Are you sure he wasn't serious when he said he was bi? Obviously I don't know all about the circumstance, but if he really is and you shoot down his identity, that could be really painful, and he might resent you for it.

    I really hope he isn't cheating on you, but the fact that you have access to his "hook up" account, tells me that he probably isn't cheating one you, or rather that if he were cheating on you, he wouldn't use the site as a medium.