I'm seventeen and my parents found out I liked girls when they caught me with my girlfriend in April. They were angry and broke us up several times because they simply didn't want me to be in a relationship with a girl. I knew I was gay since I was ten or eleven but kept it from them because I knew how much they didn't agree with people being gay. For some reason they think it's disgusting and unnatural, and this annoys me because they think that for some reason this makes it okay for them to stop me having relationships with girls. I have a few friends that are gay and ended up making friends with these people because I'm also gay, but my parents just think I'm being easily led or think it's 'cool' as if i'm copying them or something. My dad is a complete narcisst and is always putting me down about my sexuality, saying hurtful things and making me feel like I don't deserve to be happy. My mum is just as bad and says I'm not allowed a girlfriend. When I have sleepovers with my friends they have to sleep on the floor even though i have a kingsize bed, she would usually let me share it until she found out I was gay. Whether Im in a sexual relationship with the girl sleeping over or not, I am old enough. And she can't simply ruin my relationships because she is prejudiced. She says she isn't homophobic because she doesn't have a 'fear' of gays, but thats just an excuse for her negative attitudes towards gay people. The things my parents say and do are really hurtful and make me wish they could be nicer people. I have problems with self harming and it is mostly because of what my parents put me through. What can I do to make them realize that no matter who I'm with, it doesn't matter as, long as i'm happy.
Yea you're right, it doesnt matter who youre with as long as they make you happy and treat you right. Who says that two people of the same gender can't feel love for each other? Im really sorry to hear youre parents are acting like that :s but you shouldnt hurt yourself, self harm should never be a way to deal with things. I know what self harm feels like, sure it feels right in the few seconds you do it but it can leave scars and put you at great risk for youre safety. You sound like a very intelligent person with good life ahead of you, I think eventually the time will come when your parents have no control over your life and youll be able to be with who you want. I'm not sure of what else to stay as it looks like youre in a bit of a sticky situation as it seems you cant see anyone without your parents checking up on you. I hope youll be okay and just hang on for a while Im sure things will get better :s (*hug*)
I don't know much about English laws as I am an American. Here we have emancipation laws. Emancipation of minors is a legal mechanism by which a minor is freed from control of his or her parents or guardians, and the parents or guardians are freed from any and all responsibility toward the child. I believe that many countries have similar laws. And if the situation is as serious as it seems to be maybe that would be a good option for you to consider. You shouldn't be hurting yourself because of anyone! Especially your parents. I haven't come out yet to parents because I know I will get similar reaction. I'm working on the courage though. You are already braver then a lot of people, myself included. Look into the emancipation and if it's the right step for you, take it! They'll come around eventually. Hope I helped.
Keep strong LeCiel (*hug*). Your almost 18 then you will be free to make your own choices without their "guidance". Don't listen to what your parents say. I know how badly words can hurt but that is why we are here to show to you that they are wrong. We care. Hurting yourself is only a temperary relief and once everything is over, you are still left with the scares. I would suggest replacing it with exercise, it works trust me. I haven't come out yet, my parents are very religious and conservative so they probably won't be to happy with me either. Once I am no longer dependend on them I'll come out. So do you think you can hold on for one more year?
Thanks everyone Makes me happier knowing that it's not long until I'm 18, then maybe they would understand that it's not some sort of childish phase.
