1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Beautiful Thing

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by JamesD, Jan 1, 2012.

  1. JamesD

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2011
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    I stumbled across this movie from 1996 this weekend. Its basically a gay coming of age story and its supposed to be a sweet, heart warming movie. Thing is, at the end of the movie I was just plain sad and depressed. Still trying to figure out why the movie made me feel that way when it was clearly intended to leave one feeling warm and fuzzy. Anyone else seen this movie and have any thoughts?
     
  2. Gravity

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    321
    Likes Received:
    256
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I know that movie - I saw it a few years ago and I really liked it :slight_smile:

    Sometimes happy movies or happy endings make me kinda sad - mostly if it's a happy romantic ending and I'm feeling lonely. :rolle: Was it like that? Or were you sad for the characters themselves?
     
  3. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I could hazard a guess that, being that you're 35 and only out to a few people now, maybe the movie touched you at an unconscious level and brought up the feelings of loss at coming out later in life; putting you in touch with yearning for the experience of falling in love and having a relationship as a teen, as did the boys in this film.

    Very often, well-made films will touch us at an unconscious level and help to bring to the surface feelings that we're having that we aren't quite consciously aware of. Years ago, my therapist "prescribed" a handful of films for me for issues I was feeling sort of "stuck" about. They were really effective and triggered some pretty strong feelings, which I was able to work through with my therapist, bringing about some much needed access to those buried experiences and feelings and helping me to let go of the stuff that was inside.

    Perhaps something similar is going on for you.
     
  4. kris B

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2011
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    I loved this movie. I want to let everyone know its available on you tube in 8 parts....here's the link to the first one

    Beautiful Thing - Part 1/8 (Entire Movie) - YouTube


    This movie was very important for my process of coming out to myself. I had always associated gay with ugly connotations, but this movie really made me feel that it could be a "beautiful thing".

    ---------- Post added 1st Jan 2012 at 11:47 PM ----------

    Oh and I also agree with what Chip said. It did make me a bit envious of those two boys. I wish it had happened to me. But, I think, one should take a more hopeful point of view: Maybe later in life, but this could happen for me too :slight_smile:
     
  5. JamesD

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2011
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    As always Chip, very perceptive. I think it may have been a variation on this theme. I think it provided a window (albeit through rose colored glasses) into a life I never even came close to having. And yes, it also probably has something to do with me coming out later in life.

    Lots to think about there.
     
  6. Revan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2005
    Messages:
    7,850
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I know the movie, beautiful it is. I can't give any advice but just wanted to chime in with the title being an appropriate one for the film.
     
  7. bdman

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2011
    Messages:
    210
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    IL
    I watched the movie on youtube and had the same reaction. I also came out (to myself) later in life and feel chip is probably right on the money. I didn't grow up in the kind of family or environment where I could have dealt with the emotions of discovering that I was gay, so I suppressed my feelings as a teen. I do feel like I missed out in my youth and there isn't a clear path to happiness. Part of my new years resolution is to start some therapy.
     
  8. IanGallagher

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2011
    Messages:
    944
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    I fly as much as Superman
    I found it relatable and happy at the end. But, I did come out when I was 23. Haven't had a boyfriend yet, or girlfriend for that matter, but feel at least one is right around the bend. I also loved how the film didn't give in to any of the stereotypes either.
     
  9. JamesD

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2011
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    Feeling like I missed out on a healthy childhood is a big thing for me I guess. I guess its not so much (for me) that I don't think I can find happiness. I believe that's very possible. But, I think I need to work through my feelings of regret in order to really move forward.
     
  10. bdman

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2011
    Messages:
    210
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    IL
    I suppose for me to find happiness would require finding solutions to certain problems. Working through my feelings of regret is certainly one of those problems. The others involve how to be who I am in a super religious and homophobic family and a ultra conservative work environment. They still seem like insurmountable problems.

    You are out to a few people, are they your family? Do you have any concerns regarding the people in your professional/personal life and how they would react to your orientation?
     
    #10 bdman, Jan 2, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2012