I came out to my parents in mid-august. I never really intended to, because I figured that it was none of their business. I'm very private, when it comes to what I want my parents to know about me. The way I'd come out was really a surprise to me. I was going to take a shower, and the bathroom next to their room was the only one that works. So, I passed by my parent's bedroom, and my mom somehow made a comment about my hair in comparison to my brother's. We both have curly hair, but I like to keep mine shorter than he does. As a result his is 'poof-ier'. My mom said something about not wanting to be called a poof, and I replied "only half- I'm bi." I didn't even mean to say it. My mom took it kinda well. She didn't jump into a speech about how homosexuality was wrong, nor did she insist I deny it. She did say something about it possibly being a phase, but I said that I was sure. Anyway, my dad wasn't in the same room. He was behind me, sitting on the stairs. I'm not exactly sure if he heard. Neither of them mentioned it ever again. But later, when I mentioned that I found an actor attractive, my mom groaned. But when I mentioned flirting with the homophobes for fun (as a joke- my sense of humor is...different), she cautioned that I could be beaten up for it. And when I mentioned several friends deciding to go man-hunting with me, she just shrugged. My dad, on the other hand, has been confusing. When I was younger, and he was talking about anti-gay laws being passed, he said that he found two guys in a relationship alright, the idea of two guys in the bedroom disgusted him. (Which I can see. Not everything on the :***: side of the internet is universally accepted.) Recently, I commented on how my brother folded one of my shirts, and showed him how to do it right. (We switch doing laundry every month, so I was supposed to know how to fold a shirt) He says "Wow. That made you look so gay." I tried to joke about that being a good thing, if I ever was single, and living in a dorm, or something. I couldn't get the words out. I'm still not comfortable discussing it with either of them, and it's not something I think will change. I'm not sure if my dad knows that I'm bi, or if he's just joking. :bang:
Its tough to say. U can always just ask them if they think u r gay. And then there is no backing out after they ask why. So you'll get your answer and possibly come out to them too.
I would suspect your mom has talked to your dad - so he probably knows. But it's possible he doesn't. From what it sounds like, your parents' reactions have been pretty decent, at least based on my experience. The conversation with your mom didn't go any of a number of routes that parents sometimes take when they're less okay with it (asking if you're sure it's not just a phase can be as much a result of surprise as anything). And your dad expressing acceptance of gay relationships (if not gay sex) is pretty promising - for what it's worth, I've never discussed my sex life with my parents, nor do I intend to. This, I think, is rather normal. Plus, your brother can make friendly jokes about it, which is always a good sign. I think the thing to do here is talk to your parents more about this. You don't need to fill them in on what you want to do in the bedroom, but they may simply come from a time and/or place where they just didn't get that much information about bi people. I would guess that more than anything else, they probably feel uninformed. Talking about what this means for you and what you expect from them is important - not doing so leaves them floundering, and will almost certainly lead to hurt feelings later on if they just don't know that you want a certain kind or level of acceptance or recognition. If all else fails, you could write something for them to read, or even find material online that you think they could read to better understand your situation. There are a lot of "open letters to parents" and other such things out there that might help.
