I'm just wondering if anyone had as much trouble with there sexuality as i did, so i'll share my story. When I was little I always hung out with the girls and wanted to play with girly things and I always thought of myself more as a girl, although i didn't tell anyone. When my father hinted to me about having guy friends, i decided to even it out at little bit by getting a couple of guy friends. In about third grade i decided that i might really be meant to be a girl, but i still didn't tell anyone, i guess i didn't because of the discontent i saw with my father when i was showing more obvious signs of more femininity. By the summer of fourth grade i realized that i was meant to be a boy, and that i could still act feminine if i wanted to. I still like to do girly things like knitting(when my father wasn't home) and watching "Hannah Montana." By fifth grade I had my first crush(awww), but i felt troubled because my first crush was another boy(ugggg). I thought that i was homosexual for a while until the summer after fifth grade when i met my first girl crush. It took me a while to get used to the idea, though. But now i"m fine with it, and i like pretty much everything about being bisexual. I even like the taste and color of it. You heard...you read me right. I have Synesthesia. I know that i'm starting to get off topic but I know that you're wondering. The word bisexual tastes like blueberry punch, and the color is a dark blue with white sparkles in it. Let's get on topic again, it took me a while to discover who I am and it was a very confuzzing trip too. Did you have problems with discovering yourself too?
Yes I did have problems with my identity and I still have them, it has been roughly 4 months that has passed and I am still stuck on this part. Its really hard trying to define yourself but to have another thing to contradict it is even worse since it confused me as well. So yeah its hard and still struggling but I can get there eventually.
It took me a long time to work out my orientation. I suspect that my orientation shifted a bit in high school, which made it even more difficult. Even now I'm not totally sure. I know for certain that I like men, but I'm not really sure how I feel about women.
Absolutely I had problems with my identity. It's only in retrospect - after having accepted who I am - that I've been able to bring some clarity to what were very very confusing thoughts and feelings when I was a kid. I know I didn't understand them at the time. I used to be very upset at myself for not having been able to figure this all out when I was a kid. But then I realized it wasn't very fair of me to blame a kid for not being able to understand something I only began to understand at 28... Go easy on yourself.
