I feel so sad again, I don't want to be in the world :c It hurts so much when you really wish something that is not going to happen even if you try (trying in this case could be worst) Besides that, I feel the pressure of my school issues (talking about money) I know my parents can pay for it but sometimes I feel like they feel the pressure. I want to leave but then I think in my parents and siblings and the people who cares about me, I don't want to cause them sadness, but... I would be sad if I don't leave so I don't know what to do :c I don't want that anyone feel guilty about this act. I just don't know id I want to continue with this life.
Leaving. I've left and returned without notice... Anyways. If you truely think a different setting would help you it sounds like a good idea. I'm intending on doing an exchange program for a year. Going to try and get away for a while. School issues parents can help with. I remember one of my friends saying our parents don't stop helping us until we die. It confused me a bit but our parents as crazy and habitual as they are will help us when they're here or not. I am involved in a lot of out of school activities and for me to do them is $70 a month. I try and pay for what I can. Eventually it comes down to them though. Now I'm getting off track. I'm not even allowing myself to think about how you want to leave but I've tried a couple times and always realized it wont help anyone.
OK, let's remove the pressures for a second. Say your parents are cool with you leaving school, or taking a semester off. What would you want to do if that were the case? Lex
A month ago I was thinking in moving somewhere else and start over. But now I'm talking leaving as dying :c
Don't do it. I've been in a similar place like you have. Over the years, I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts and when I come out of it, one thing I always realize is that I'm glad I didn't go through with it. I don't know what you're going through right now, but there is no pain that cannot be healed. There is no pain that cannot be overcome. Don't make a permanent decision based on temporary feelings. This too shall pass. Stay in the game of life and keep fighting! Trust me, you won't regret it. (hug)
I thought you were. I know this isn't helpful and is hard to consider about yourself, but would you say that you're suffering from depression? I have an associate who is clinically seriously depressed and suicidal and he thinks that his family would prefer it if he was dead. If you do not believe this then I would say that you are not so grasped by depression that logically thought escapes you. Therefore think intensely about what it is that is causing you to feel this way. Then think about how these things could be worse. Then think about the good things in your life, I'm sure there are alot of people who love you, though it may not seem that this is the case.
Yeahyeah: I got myself into a series of negative thoughts, each one making the other worse and more negative. Eventually I believed my own lies and tried to kill myself. Obviously I was unsuccessful. But I figured out how much I believed about myself and life was just not true. Things get better. Go talk to someone. A therapist or psychologist can really help you--I didn't believe in them until I went to one myself. Visit a doctor to get some medical help to get through this down time. (I did and it helped me get through a very dark period.) Ending things really doesn't help anything. You will depriving yourself of so much joy once you get through things. And YOU can give others so much help and happiness, too. Don't give up! Please feel free to PM me. A BIIIIIIIIIG HUG from a guy who's climbing out of his own dark hole, Tracker