stupid question: how gay is my friend really?

last week on thursday i went out with 3 of my girls and my rather feminine gay friend (let's call him 'tom'), so i had a "girls night out". usually we go clubbing but we went to a pub instead, because it was cheaper. i don't really care as long as the people i'm with are fun, but the others didn't enjoy themselves too much, especially tom. i noticed when i went to get myself a beer and he tagged along. i was dancing and he was just pulling a long face so i asked him what was wrong and he said he wasn't really in the mood. I replied i'd have to change that and bought a beer for him too. 2 or 3 hours and one single beer later and he was already drunk (i know right, alcohol lightweight), but in party mood at last. unfortunately he was starting to act a little slutty and he was kinda licking my face off. he would try to make out with me and shit, but i was uncomfortable. i was asking myself: "is he really that drunk/horny?" so i asked him when he got laid the last time. he said it has been 3 months, the other girls said it was only a week. then i asked myself: "is he trying to act straight?" because his cousin happened to be there too and he only came out recently. but he came out to his cousin that night and still tried to make out with me, trying to shove my hands down his pants, nibbling my ears, kissing me and so on. all the other girls were pretty shocked and i asked them if they had ever seen tom this way and they said no. still trying to find out what exactly his intentions are i asked if he ever made out with a girl before and he said yes, one time. then i asked him if he ever had sex with a girl and he said "no, but we can change that" and winked at me (he is really promiscuous). then he was telling me he would get an erection (which i didn't believe, but whatever). then i asked him if he'd like to make out with one of the other girls, but he said "no, only you". at this point i was starting to become desperate because i was getting horny of his earnibbling etc. but i didn't want to go any further because you know, he's gay. so i asked one of the others if she could help me get rid of him and so he started dancing with her and lost interest in trying to make out with me. later he would even act as if nothing happened (maybe the booze wore off?).
2 days later tom went to a different party than we did pn new years, so i asked the girls what they were thinking of his behavior. they said tom said the "only you" things to them too and that's why they thought he was just wasted/horny/bored/trying to act straight for his cousin. too bad i already considered all of these options and i couldn't stop thinking about it, wondering how gay he really is. i wish i could blame it on the alcohol, but something seems weird about this. i really believe he's gay and doesn't really need experimenting to figure out if he likes girls. so what do you think: am i overreacting and should i stop thinking about what happened, because he was simply drunk? or is he experimenting to see if he likes girls? anything you say would help (*hug*)

 

i know right? i've been partying with him before and he didn't get drunk that easily. it was only half a cocktail and 2 beers, just as much as i had and i wasn't even tipsy. the thing is he is definitely not the creepy type. usually he's very sweet and i feel really comfortable with him. that's why i can't really blame it on the alcohol.

when i first made out with a girl i didn't talk about it afterwards, because i didn't want to make things awkward. i wasn't sure if it was something i should be ashamed of and i think he might feel ashamed of what had happened because when he was sobering up he asked if he did something embarrassing.

don't worry i don't think this is sick at all. you just want to know what it feels like and you have the right to. if you're completely sure you're gay then this shouldn't be affecting you much. maybe this is the exact same thing my friend is doing? i really don't want to lose him, because he's a good friend.


another thing was that he might have used me to vent, like fulfilling the need for touching or something like that, because he didn't have a dude around that was his type?

 

anyone having a idea? i'm still to concerned about that to let it go