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Outed to My Family over $20

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Indiana Juno, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. Indiana Juno

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    So my brother lost $18 which he claims he left in a baited trap for me. I never touched it. But he believes enough that I did.

    So he comes into my room on New Years asking me at least for $10, claiming he's giving me a break in only asking for that - says he has no gas in his tank and needs money. He just got paid $800 on Friday at work and I presume, is out of money based on the big stink he made over it.

    Please keep in mind, my brother has stolen from me and my family on countless occasions - money, jewelry, forged checks in our names, stolen credit cards, cars, you name it. He owes me $750 which he hasn't paid a dime of in over 2 years.

    He BELIEVES I stole $18 from him with no proof (and I know I didn't) and he begins accosting me.

    He takes my keys and as I follow to get them back, my older brother intervenes. My older brother tries getting my keys back from him, so they begin fighting, wrestling, etc. My older brother kicked him out of the house at this point (it's his place and my little brother is staying there scot-free)

    So he begins dismantling my couch to take with him, claiming its his, when I try to stop him, he outs me to my brother.

    Older Bro tells me to stay in the other room, to keep out of this and he would deal with it - I'd have loved to step in and punch the little ingrate in the face but I didn't want the fight to escalate and get the Landlord involved - which has happened a couple of times with my Little Brother's outbursts.

    My Dad, his girlfriend, and my sister's fiance all came over to deal with this outburst. Meanwhile, I havent said a thing, have been sitting in the other room minding my business while this kid screams his bloody head off.

    He begins outing me to them. When I entered the fray to stop him trashing my Xbox (while they all watched) he calls me gay in front of my father and goes "yes or no? are you or arent you?!"

    Thinking he had the upper hand, I owned the question and took away his power. I just laughed and said "YEAH BRO" in a way that my father could interpret it any way he likes, I don't care. There were fist fights, screaming matches, he took the Xbox claiming he needs an Xbox when he goes to live with my dad. (he didn't bother taking the power chords or controller so it was purely a spite thing).

    He starts shouting about how I like male ejaculant (nice kid right) in front of the Landlord's 9 year old daughter when they got involved. He really knew nothing about my life, only that I've had a boyfriend. So when he started shouting about how I've had a boyfriend and I like cum, it just sounds like he's reaching for straws - not like he knows anything of substance.

    It bothered me only because of how much he would have deserved a nice, well-earned overdue beating. I don't care that he said anything really. My father's a homophobe as far as I know but he hasn't mentioned it since - my Older Bro, sis' fiance were both cool with it. The only thing I wish is that I could have taught the little bastard a good lesson.

    He owes me $750 and did all this over $18 he THINKS I took. Sigh.
     
    #1 Indiana Juno, Jan 3, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2012
  2. Lexington

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    This guy needs to be out of your life. And, hopefully, out of everybody else's. If your father wants to let him live in his house for free, and presumably sponge off him instead, that's his call. Other than that, chalk up the $750 to a lesson in life, write it off, and get back to living your life.

    Lex
     
  3. malachite

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    Lex has got it!

    He is toxic and you should avoid these types of people at all costs, I know how it is I have a pill head sister who has stolen. My parents and I NEVER leave he alone where she can take our stuff.

    It sounds harsh but it's reality
     
  4. Indiana Juno

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    The sad part is, Lex, I haven't even come at him for the multiple abuses and thefts. Or even for the money he owes me. He came at me like a loan shark. All I did was insist I stole nothing, I really didn't even say anything angering to him. But he couldn't take that I guess. He's not my "brother" anymore - he said so himself - that being a "faggot" was an embarrasment to the family.

    We all tried to make him see that stealing, lying, conniving and throwing violent tantrums are what disgraces a family name. A lot of my friends (some of whom used to be friends with him before ever knowing me) have told me that he owes money to multiple drug dealers and his word is mud around town - people know he's a lying cheat with no conscience, morals or loyalty.

    He's the type of person, that, when you have a dispute with him over something menial, he begins insulting your family, your friends, your job, your car, your girlfriend. Then he goes around telling your business to all your friends. He acts like a 13 year old HS Drama Queen. He does this to EVERYONE and I think he knows he's alone and friendless now.
     
  5. Chip

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    Sorry that you got outed that way. It sounds like it might just go nowhere and be written off as an angry rant... but if not, hey, maybe it's not such a bad thing in the long term to be out and not have to worry about hiding that aspect of yoruself.

    As for your brother... I know only what you've said, but the first thought that came to my mind was "drug problem." Hard to imagine what else he'd be spending such a ton of money on so quickly, and when you combine that with the temper tantrums and other erratic and self-centered behavior, it would certainly at least raise that question in my mind.

    In any case, you really do need to get him completely out of your life. If there is a drug issue, then perhaps holding a family intervention and getting him into treatment would be the right way to go, but of course, you have to prove he has the problem first. If he's resistant to everything, then the important thing is to try and enlist the family's help in getting everyone to stop enabling his bad behavior, be it caused by drugs or just by being an asshole. That isn't easy to do, but if people aren't interested in help, the only thing one can do is to stop enabling them so that they can stand or fall on their own weight.
     
  6. Revan

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    Kinda glad you're you and not me, I would've called the cops on him by now...though perhaps it wouldn't have any way to charge him but I digress...:S
     
  7. Lexington

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    >>>We all tried to make him see that stealing, lying, conniving and throwing violent tantrums are what disgraces a family name. A lot of my friends (some of whom used to be friends with him before ever knowing me) have told me that he owes money to multiple drug dealers and his word is mud around town - people know he's a lying cheat with no conscience, morals or loyalty.

    And yet he's still living with family members. For free. Which appears to be solidifying his belief that he doesn't have to grow up, and doesn't have to respect anybody, because there will always be a roof, free meals, and (presumably) an XBox there for him no matter what he does.

    As for your original point, it doesn't matter if he outed you. Everybody in that room presumably assumed he was speaking to hurt, not to inform.

    Lex
     
  8. Friendly ghost

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    Point blank he is obviously a drug addict. He may not have always been so bad, but right now he is and you can't trust him. By trusting him and letting his thefts and what not go you are only elongating his problems. Cut him off, everywhere. He will hopefully come around at some point. But the 20 dollars was a lie. Just to get 20 dollars from you.

    At least he saved you from having to bring it up as a complete surprise. And nice use of sarcasm to avoid the yes or no.