So my therapist wants me to start working on me, and standing up for myself... I have no earthly idea how to do this... What does that even mean "Working on me" ? I know the goal is for me to be comfortable in my own skin and to be OK with who I am but... how do you get there? He says I need to focus on myself more, but... isn't that selfish? Especially when I have a daughter, shouldn't I focus on her? He also says I should stand up for myself more, but... I am completely dependent on the people putting me down. What am I suppose to do if "standing up for myself" gets me thrown out of the only place I have? That would mean my daughter would live with her father, I would have to quit school... It would completely ruin my life for years and years... But... I can't keep going the way I am. It isn't working, it HURTS. I'm not happy. I'm not accepted. I am not even treated like an adult human being. My mother is trying to raise my daughter for me, and take over and I don't want her to... but when I say something, I am the bad guy.... :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help:
i am in a similar situation (reliant on people who treat me like crap, dont really care what happens to me as long as the people i care about are happy, feel selfish if doing something for my personal benefit) for the most part i am also pretty clueless, but i wouldnt just throw the issue aside, ok, so maybe there are some severe repercussions to doing this, but imo small gradual changes and maybe being a bit more assertive wont get you thrown out. just build it up over time. good luck (*hug*)
i have to do the same thing. i think it's part of me starting to recognize how i feel, what i need and how to express them both clearly. i generally get tossed by the waves and then feel like a victim. i think it means that we have to acknowledge these things and start making choices that will help us to manage our lives. it also helps people around us. you are so sweet and it might be tough, but like stumble said, little by little (*hug*)
I dont think concentrating on yourself is always selfish, as with your daughter if you continue to spiral into a place where you can no longer look after your daughter then that would be bad, so surely it is better to concentrate on yourself more now so you can continue to be there for her when she needs you. There is a difference between looking out for yourself and being selfish and anyone that asked the question you did is probably the kind of person that would never be selfish.
I have brought up my fear of being kicked out to my therapist. He wants me to find a new place to live.
