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Scared to come out...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Igkitkat, Jan 5, 2012.

  1. Igkitkat

    Regular Member

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    I'm scared of coming out here, in a small conservative town. I just moved here, but, a few weeks ago, I admitted to myself tht I'm a lesbian, but people here ar hateful, and I have a boyfriend that I jut want to be friends with. I'm kinda panicking right now. Does anyone have any advice? :help:
     
  2. Flying Squirrel

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    Don't panic! My suggestion is to take it slow. You just came out to yourself a couple of weeks ago so there's no need to tell the rest of the world just yet.

    Ask yourself some questions...
    Who do you want to know? Why do you want them to know? Would it be safe to come out to those people?
     
  3. Lexington

    Full Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out to everyone
    I'll second the "don't panic" advice. That's almost always good advice. (I'm trying to remember the last time I suggested that somebody panic...)

    You've told four people, and that's a great start, actually. You don't say that any of them reacted negatively, but my feeling is if they had, you probably would've mentioned it. So if they're supportive, let them be your support system for the time being.

    Next up - your boyfriend. You might consider breaking up with him. You don't have to tell him the specific reason why, but you can put a spin on the truth. Just let him know that you really like him, and you'd love to remain his friend, but you're just not feeling any sparks with him. You've tried for awhile to wait for something to happen, but it doesn't seem like it is going to. So you're cutting him free so he can find a girl who WILL feel that way about him.

    As for the future, well, you're presumably not chained down. If the town is homophobic in nature, it's best to make plans to move somewhere else than to try to change the town's mind. (Besides, finding a date might be a major pain...) It may be that that's impossible right now - you might still be in school, or money might be an issue. Whatever it is, you can make it a long-term goal. First to visit some other places you might want to move to, and then eventually to move to one. But again, that's long-term.

    Lex