Hi guys any idea for getting over someone quickly? I know this sounds kind of stupid but the other day I met this guy and I have never felt like this before about anyone (massive cliché I know!) but seriously mostly my crushes were just little things I could ignore but this one is just Eurghhhhhh! :icon_redf I can actually not get him off my mind and we've only talked twice, it's ridiculous! I just feel so weird all the time and it just crept up on me so quickly. Here's the problem: 1) Knowing my luck he'll be straight 2) He's more attractive than me 3) He could possibly have a boyfriend if he is gay 4) It's me so he obviously isn't interested 5) I'm in the closet! I mean we talked and got on really well and to me it kind of felt like one of those "love at first sight" movie moments but now I've kind of realised that it probably isn't but I just can't stop thinking about him! I keep going on Facebook and seeing if he's sent me a message or something and I just want to forget about him and it's so stupid because I've only know him for a couple of days (truth be told he added me on fb a bit back and I was interested, he goes to my school btw). I need to just drop it before it becomes this massive thing and I just waste time over it because he really isn't going to be interested in me so how can I get rid of it? I know it's silly to ask but is there anyway I really don't need this now! :bang: I know this whole thing is really stupid. :rolle:
This is a LOT harder than it sounds, but you need to ignore him. Avoid him as much as possible, and avoid talking with him. There's a general rule when it comes to LGBT people and relationships - Assume the person you're interested in is 100% straight unless you know for sure otherwise.
I feel your pain! Haha I've been in this situation. Ignoring the person is hard, especially if you really connect. I've pushed the feelings I have for guys aside and just got to know them. Some of my best friends are old crushes of mine now. I mean we are still in high school, love comes and goes! But friends stick around a lot longer. If you genuinely like him, get to know him better and you may end up being great friends. But I agree with Mad Man, assume he isn't gay. Don't push that now, especially when you don't know him that well and are still in the closet. Good luck!
Actually, I think you should not assume anything at all about someone else's sexuality. I mean, if you are in the closet, and you assume everyone is straight, and they all assume you are, then you aren't going to have many opportunities to have relationships. If you assume, you might be wrong. Whenever we like someone, there is always the risk that they won't like us back. Just deciding that they obviously won't just leads to never having relationships. It's a good idea to keep a realistic view of the odds. Most people are straight, so the odds aren't good. If you pull away without doing anything to even find out if he could possibly be interested, your chances of dating him are pretty close to zero. It would only happen if he were a lot braver than you are, and really pursued something even though you are pulling away--extremely unlikely. If you take some risks, your chances will still be low--but infinitely better than zero. My advice would be to make friends, and then come out to him and see how he responds to that. It's very difficult to get over someone without being really sure that it's impossible. It's a lot easier if you actually know for certain that the person isn't interested. The crush feeling is partly dependent on there being some hope. So, really, the way you will get over it the most quickly is by finding out for sure that he is either straight or just not into you like that.
I'd like to reiterate what Ianthe has said. If someone has already caught your eye, then you should go and get some sort of indication of whether they feel the same way. As she said, making friends and then coming out to them is my advice as well. However this isn't to totally discredit the Assume the person you're interested in is 100% straight unless you know for sure otherwise advice from Mad Man L. This is a good rule to stick to if you are actively searching for someone - you're much better off looking somewhere such as a gay bar where you can be sure most everyone will atleast have compatible sexualities, there's no point looking in the general public because you'll most likely be disappointed. But if the crush has already set in then you can't rely on this. Don't be defeatist and just say "He isn't interested," because you don't know that. Only good things can come out of you making proper contact with him: either 1) He is interested. Score! 2) He isn't interested, in which case you actually know he isn't interested which will make getting over him much easier, as Ianthe said. If you just ignore him entirely, you'll be in a limbo state which will make getting over the crush much harder.
Hmm - I don't think you should ignore him by any means.. If we ignored every guy we lust over at first sight, its a pretty boring life for us gays! Haha - The key is not to get attached - Be his friend and be yourself is my advice.. maybe later on you can joke around and flirt. Assume he is straight, sure - but not everything is about sexuality, there are open minded people out there who don't care about your sexuality.
I know how you feel. I am going through the same thing. Except I kept pushing things to far assuming he may be Bi or Gay because of my friends who have known him since kindergarten. They kept on telling me "If anyone to like he would be the one because he is the only guy that is seemingly straight that could possibly swing for guys." Well, now he hates me.. He doesn't know I like or even love him. But, long story short he hates me and never wants to talk to me again. So, my advise would be avoid him to you get over it because you never know how far you might push it until he doesn't even want to be your friend.
Thank you for all the great advice guys, I'm going to make friends with him because I genuinely like him but as Mad Man L said I'm not going to assume he's gay or anything, even though he seems pretty gay. He may even be out I'm not sure and if I went around asking it would be pretty obvious what I was doing! :icon_wink I find it pretty hard to imagine anyone being interested in me... oh self-esteem :icon_sad: Anyway just a bit of info we had a Facebook chat the other day and he asked me to do this charity thing with him and he said "I make him laugh" Don't know what to make of it, may have just been being friendly. Thing is I'm sick of falling for guys who end up being straight because I do this thing were I take a bunch of little things and turn it into them being gay. The only thing that got me over this one guy was that he got a girlfriend and that one hurt like a bitch :tears: I honestly wish I could just turn off my emotions and become asexual until university but unfortunately that isn't going to happen. :bang:
It seems like you two are already off to a good start. Definitely go to the charity thing with him. That's a good time to get to know him better and maybe some alone time. You are lucky you have gays at your school though! I have none
I'm sorry you don't have any jlg65 we have quite a few and they don't really get much stick for it then again I'm not really into any of them! Sounds like your school must be a pretty hard place to be? (*hug*)
