So, I've been having a horrible time coming out. Every time I get close to it, I chicken out. I even dated a girl, trying to make me straight... I'm sure you all know how that turned out. I left her with a broken heart, lost quite a few friends when I dumped her, and I completely hated myself for a period. I can't do that to a girl again... Not when I have to lie to myself and her every day. I know that it is time to come out of the closet, but I would like to do it slowly, and at my speed. That's why I was so excited that I found this gay youth group in my area. Its for guys 18-29 and its full of get-togethers and dinners and movies. I was hoping that if I joined this group, I could not only have a group of supportive people to share my issues with...who I can run to if things turn out badly telling my family and friends. Not to mention some of the members are really cute and after I step out of the closet, things might go somewhere... BUT here's the problem... The meeting I'm going to has someone I know at it. He's listed as "attending" on the Facebook event page for it. Now, if he was someone who I got along with, I don't see what the problem would be... I'd have one more person on my side, but this guy and I didn't exactly get along in high school. We didn't dislike each other, we just are very different. I was quiet and reserved...he would run down the hallways pointing out which gay guys (including closeted ones) hes slept with. Even worse, many of my friends are friends of his. He also has connections to my job, which is NOT gay friendly, which could make life miserable for me. If I go to the meeting and run into him, I have a strange feeling the entire city would know about it the day afterward, including my family and job. That's exactly what I would not want to happen and why I wanted a support group to begin with. I know I could politely ask him to hold off tellling people, but frankly, I don't think he would. I was the goody good in high school and I think the gossip that I'm gay might be too much for him to handle. Any suggestions? Please... I can't sleep... I can't eat... This group sounded so great and a great tool to help me find myself, but now I feel more alone than ever.
You should consider yourself lucky to have a support group, there aren't any where I'm from. You could try to reason with the guy. After school most people grow up a bit, maybe he is not as bad as he was in high school. If you are too worried, try to find another group I'm sure there are plenty. I'm not out either so I can't give you a lot of advice, I think you will do okay. Good luck
I agree. Support groups are very hard to come by and this one is over an hour from home, so I was shocked when I realized it was still too close to home.
I wish there was a gay youth group when I was 18-29. I was a member of several youth groups all of which were in gay hating churches and I was in denial. Had there been something like this available to me, I might me in a better situation today.
People change a lot from high school to college. It sounds like you two were different from each other not unfriendly. People do mature from high school and the way they acted then is more than likely not the way he would act after college. I would go to the support group, its a great way to meet people and become more comfortable with yourself. If and when you talk to him just be friendly and if he says something just say in a casual way that your not completely out.
I agree with everybody here. He's probably matured enough to the point where he understands not to go around telling everybody. And anyways, rewards don't come without risks.
