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On Coming Out to Siblings

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by EastYear, Jan 8, 2012.

  1. EastYear

    EastYear Guest

    Okay, so I know this is a bit preemptive, but I just wanted to get a few opinions. I'm out to a couple people, neither of which are my parents. I'm not all that worried about coming out to my parents though, because they're pretty tolerant and will probably accept me.
    On the other hand, I have two little sisters. One of them is 12, and I have no idea what she thinks of homosexuality really. She's been exposed to it, and occasionally mentions a celebrity's homosexuality if it's relevant. All in all, she seems pretty neutral.
    However, my other sister is 9. I'm not sure if it's just because she's a kid, but she seems to think that homosexuality is weird. She's made a few comments, and nobody has really corrected her. She just seems to be a little uncomfortable about it. Actually, horribly enough, I remember thinking the same way when I was her age, and look at me now.
    So, when I do eventually come out to them, how do you think that should work? Tell my parents first and then my sisters later? Or just wait until the nine year old is older?
    Also, I'm worried that they think I'll be attracted to them or something, just because I like women. I bring this up because I know a gay guy in college, and whenever people talked about him coming out, they'd add "and he was living at home at the time. And he has a brother." in some tone that implies that it was awkward.
    Anyway, this is all early, but I'd like to be prepared. Thanks.
     
  2. chrism29

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out to everyone
    i would tell your mom first and then by the sounds of things you will have a pretty solid support system from her so then she can help you tell your sisters and then you have someone you can talk to.
    hope this helps(*hug*)
    feel free to message me if you want to talk :slight_smile:
     
  3. Ianthe

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    Actually, kids are usually awesome about it, particularly when it's a sibling.

    It's common for kids to mirror whatever they hear in school or from other people. And to think anything different is weird. But at nine years old, even more than for older people, learning that you are gay will change what she thinks of gay people, not what she thinks of you.

    If you are worried that they will think you are attracted to them, then you can do a few things when you tell them to avoid that. Use the word "women" instead of "girls" to describe the people you are attracted to when speaking generally. Talk a little about specific girls you've been interested in and one's you weren't.

    If they ask if you think they are cute or whatever, say "Eww gross, you're my sister!"

    If they seem uncomfortable around you and you think this is why, just explain.

    But generally, kids don't have any problem changing any views they may have about gay people pretty much instantly when they come out. Siblings are often the most supportive of everyone.
     
  4. EastYear

    EastYear Guest

    Hey, thanks, to both of you. Yeah, a lot of my friends are like this too. A lot of the guys I know kind of jokingly pretend to be gay, but it seems like just something they think is amusing to others, and they're not trying to be harmful. But yeah, since there are any LGBT people at my school, I was hoping that people would have different opinions once they actually know somebody.
     
  5. Ianthe

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    Almost everyone has different opinions once they know somebody. Sometimes, even a casual acquaintance changes someones entire point of view on the subject.