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not sure what to call this?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Youngn0323, Dec 20, 2007.

  1. Youngn0323

    Regular Member

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    So first off i would like to ask. Does anyone else have that one person of the opposite sex that you would totally go straight for? I have or should say had one :frowning2: . Her name was Lacey and we grew up together. We never went a day apart and were always doing something. I can honestly say that i love that girl with all my heart and have tried to have a relationship with her my entire life, but we have always been " to good of friends." I was just coming to terms with the fact that i am gay, and now she calls me and tells me that she is getting married, and where i feel like i should be really happy for her , it feels like someone just took a freakin sledge hammer to my heart, then this makes me think that i really shouldnt be having this bad of a reaction. It was quite possibly the hardest thing that i have ever had to say in my life when i told her that i was so happy for her and congrats. And what hurts sooo much about the entire situation is i know the guy she is marrying, he wont want us to hang out or anything, and now that they are going to get married she cant tell him that i am above everyone else and that if he doesnt like it he can hit the road, like she has to numerous others, and the fact that i want to respect their marriage and not try and get between them tells me that it would be best to just remove myself from her life so as not to tempt me. OH and i have been working for 3 months on an oil painting for her for her Christmas present... it was a giant white rose... i really dont think it would be appropriate to give it to her now.
    I AM SO DEPRESSED!!
    any comments would be welcome
    thanx for reading
     
  2. SkyTears

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    Yeah there is the one girl who I would have given my heart, done anything for. I know it sounds cheesy but it was fully true. When she wasn't around I would start to get over her but when I saw her later every time it felt like I fell in love again. She had rejected me in the hardest way or me to take and I won't go into that part. I felt so crushed. As of right now I have no idea where she is in this world but I know how to find her if it was needed. But the fact that I'm gay has kept me from trying to contact her because I know I would just fall again if I saw her and it would just be another big mess. She was the first and last girl that I had ever loved.
     
  3. CrimsonThunder

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    Hmm, sorry but I don't know how you feel at this point in my life.

    However I understand what you're going through and all I can recommend is for you to try to be as happy as you can for your friend, because thats what a true friend would do. =]
     
  4. Ty

    Ty Guest

    There are only a handful of girls im actually attracted to. But It confuses me cause I don't know if im attracted to her sexually or not.. bleh.
     
  5. beckyg

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    Well the bad news is now that she's going to be married, you probably won't be spending as much time together. I would not, however, remove yourself from her life. There is just some friends that a husband or wife can't replace. You fill a special place in her heart and it would hurt her alot to just make an exit from her life. I'd give her the painting anyway. It's a very personal and great gift! As long as the husband knows you are gay, how could he be jealous?
     
  6. Jim1454

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    ^^ I'm with Becky on this one. (Not to say that I'm not with Becky on most thing!)
     
  7. urbansamurai

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    not anymore. When I thought I was straight there was one guy I told myself I'd go gay for, but then I did that anyway and never got him. At this point, I wouldn't convert myself for anyone.
     
  8. Lexington

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    There are women in my life I'd do almost anything for, but that doesn't include going straight. And they like me to much to ask.

    Lex
     
  9. Zeraphath

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    My suggestion to you is don't change your friendship. Somethings would change but since you two are so close as it is, drifting away now would show you really aren't happy for her and/or you are rejecting her. Give her a picture...feel free to call. I've noticed that most straight guys are fine with their gf/wife having a male friend who is gay.

    As for how you feel, I kinda understand. When I thought I was straight I was totally in love with my best friend. I would of become a lesbian for her in a heart beat...I kinda still have feelings for her.
     
  10. Owen

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    I agree with everyone who's said that you should keep being friends with her. We gay men fill a void in women's lives that no one else can fill. I'm sure you have a similar relationship with this woman. The fact that you would go or would have gone straight for her shows that you and her probably share this kind of connection.

    There's this one girl I know who I would have totally go straight for at the drop of a hat. She has a boyfriend currently, so I wouldn't do it now. She and I share this really deep connection that I have never shared with any of my friends, male or female. She's actually sometimes wished that I were straight. She always accuses herself of being selfish when she expresses this wish, but I've told her that I would go straight for her, or at least bi, so it doesn't create tension between us.