Hello, again everyone. I suppose i logged on to let out some of my emotions. See, everying seems overwhelming. Too much emotion. Especially fear. And latley, when I'm in school, I look around and notice nothing seems real. Or, at least, everything seems distant. Like i could reach out to touch someone and they'd disappear. sometimes, i get these sudden attacks of fear and other emotions when i think about my sexuality. Its gets so overwhelming that i cant move, think, or do anything except sit down and wait for it to pass (generally, it only takes a couple seconds to a minute, mind you, but it is stressful). I get bouts of lonliness and restlessness and other lovley emotions on the lower end of the spectrum. I feel like i cannot find anyone else - locally, that is - who is struggling this way. So, i guess what i'm attempting to ask is if this happens to anyone else... and if it does, how do you handel it? I guess the obvious answer is to solve the riddle of my sexuality. But i thought i'd somewhat accepted myself as a lesbian... until something happens that spurs all the questions again. I'm so sick of those damn questions, you know? So i try to repress them, but the doubts don't stop. Will they ever? Sometimes, i truly think i'm mentally ill. Well anyway... any advice? it would be much appreciated. Thanks
Well many people (myself included) are in your type of situation where you're at a block and really can't decide where to go. Then these questions about everything pop up and make it worse. You are not mentally ill (at the very least i don't think so). What worked for me (not a long term solution) is that i told myself that if my sexuality is going to trouble my studies, social actvities and whatever I will just wait for more time, since the matter can wait a little longer. Yourself can solve the mystery of your sexuality all in due time but for now do try to relax and talk to a councellor if need be. The best of luck to finding your solution ~hidden
Thank you very good advice. The thing is, its already been 6 months of varying degrees of this. Im sure these things take time, but i'm so very tired of it. but i suppose i'll try to relax. thanks again
From what you're describing, it's almost like you're experiencing panic attacks. Except, they're very EXTREME panic attacks. Normally, I experience a bit of anxiety, but it lasts for about 5 or so minutes (it's not to do with my sexuality, but the feelings are the same). The best solution I've found is to take deep breaths and focus on something else (I know it's hard to focus on something else, when the immediate attack is all that you can focus, but you must try). Try to question why you get these (judging by your post, you sort of have a clue as to what's happening), and WRITE down the feelings. I know, it sounds pretty juvenile (writing something down), but it helps you to understand and interpret what exactly you're feeling.
Maybe... but its not constant and probably not as severe as it seems in this post. There are periods where i do not feel this way and sometimes I even feel somewhat happy. But these emotions always come back, in one form or another. It just gets a bit overwhelming at times, i think, and not on the scale of a panic attack. i've had one before and it didn't feel like this. (i wasnt hyperventilating, my heart wasnt beating extremley fast, i could breathe) maybe there are different types of panic attacks? i'll definitley look into it though, thanks
Everyone experiences anxiety differently. I have panic attacks. They drive me into hiding for hours because I can't handle even hearing distant voices. You might experience it differently. But I do agree, it sounds like panic attacks to me.
