Ok, one phrase from that argument with my mom I talked about in another thread is just stuck in my mind: "<confrontative>I want you to be happy, <dreamy> with a wife and kids, <neutral> alone, or...<hesitation> however you want to, <trying to convince everyone>I really do. /*some talk about my theoretical GF*/" I just don't know what to think if it means what I think it means, is... About the least likely thing my mother ever said. I mean, she grew up in USSR which was about as sexually prudish place as Victorian England multiplied by Deep South, she seriously thinks of homosexuality as if it was a disease. Liking music by some openly gay musicians is the closest she ever came to doing something accepting. It's stupid to feel so much fear and hope because of two words, that probably didn't mean anything of the sort anyway, but... If the only person ever I seriously fooled about my orientation was me, why shouldn't my mother at least suspect? And what will she do when it will stop being a suspicion? :bang:
Well, I had a big and somewhat rambling talk/argument with my mother today (some more context here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/981614-post7.html), and part of it was about my need to eventually move out of their place, and the whole topic of living alone and with partners came up. She knows I practically sworn to never again just room with someone, no matter the circumstances, so I think she knows it ought to be a partner of some kind. Then she said that phrase from the OP. Ok, I can't write or think or do anything properly today, it seems... need sleep, I guess.
