ok so my guy friends that ive come out to, are not always the quickest to reply to stuff, but they are extremely supportive and its literally killing me inside that i cant talk about this part of myself to everyone (obviously the girls love it when i talk about people i like, my trust is hard to earn and easy to lose so they know if they blab they're done) especially my guy friends so i was wondering if it would be a good idea to see if i can try to connect with them more and see if they are willing to give some advice? it might be kind of awkward because i REALLY like a certain type of guy and one of my friends is one of those guys and i think hes , um, a stud muffin (that tasted funny) and i want to try to get to see what exactly he likes/doesnt like and though it may not apply to all it will to some. also if they feel awkward should i just tell them i was interested but then i got over it (not really with SM up there ill just say till i found out they had a gf)
definantly, get his advice, but dont follow it too closely, as, Im sure you know, everyone's different
you can if you want but it may make him feel like you are lo-key trying to feel him out or hit on him.
^^^ Agreed. And if he catches on, it might even make things awkward between you. Just ask him if he feels comfortable talking about you inquiring about guys, and if he does, then continue to ask him some questions (don't mention that you liked him or tell him the kinds of guys you like, especially if he's the kind of person that'd feel awkward about it), and go from there. Sometimes, people may surprise you. Trust me.
yeah i know, i actually wasnt even expecting him to be supportive at all, i expected a 'cool story bro' or something along those lines. and i guess it is best i shouldnt tell him i like him but i really need to tell someone because it literally makes me feel all ridiculous inside and makes me feel like i want to just vomit it out, though obviously if i did nothing interesting would happen other than vomit. and its not like everyday i just want a guy friend i trust to talk to hell even once a week for half an hour would make me ridiculously happy^3 and its not like i talk to guys, i talk to them all the time, its just that i trust no bitch so it never gets farther than videogames or animals (not like 'i like turrdles' , as in intelligent talk about genetics and species and what effects them blah blah blah) and i talk to girls to but again, dont trust the majority of them i can literally count on my hand the people i trust and how should i go about it? non chalantly or be all sirius and say 'hey i need to ask you something rather ridiculous but ______"
I wouldn't bother telling your crush that you're crushing on him, or even that you find guys like him cute - that can wait. >>>and how should i go about it? non chalantly or be all sirius and say 'hey i need to ask you something rather ridiculous but ______" Nonchalant doesn't mean not serious. It just means matter-of-fact, and without making too much of a production out of it. And that's probably the way to go. You might think of one very specific question you'd like their input on. And then tell them phrased by that. "I've had some real issues lately. I've noticed some guys that I might be interested in, but I definitely don't want to go any further than 'noticing' if it ends up that they're not gay or bi. Which sucks, because then I feel like it's up to me to come out to them FIRST, y'know?" Lex
yeah non chalantly, not sarcastic, say it and make no fuss what worries me is that they will be their usual selves and not comment on it for...weeks would it be ok to come up with a specific question and then afterwards say 'is it ok if i talk about guys with you every now and then' and when you mean that can wait, wait for what?
>>>yeah non chalantly, not sarcastic, say it and make no fuss what worries me is that they will be their usual selves and not comment on it for...weeks People are more likely to play the "let's not talk about it" game in groups. It might be better if you take them on one by one. Not sure if that was your plan to begin with, though. >>>would it be ok to come up with a specific question and then afterwards say 'is it ok if i talk about guys with you every now and then' You can, but I'd just treat it like it's no big deal. And then bring it up again whenever you feel the need. Obviously, don't make it your only topic of conversation, but feel free to discuss it whenever you've got a specific question that's bothering you. >>>and when you mean that can wait, wait for what? Wait for him to realize you're bi, and for him to process that information. Hitting him with "...and I'm interested in you" at the same time is more likely to bring down the wall. Lex
oh, he knows hes the third person i told or if you mean the actual 'a-ha' moment of 'he likes me' to hit him, to be honest i gave way too many hints, but i guess there might be a chance he doesnt see it i mean he shouldnt be in a group, unless hes one of those people that has his friends borrowing his phone and doing stuff to his facebook and staring constantly at his situation its just texting. sorry i kinda replied in reverse and skipped the middle one since that only required an 'ok'
I'm in your same situation. My one friend Matt is like my ideal guy, I've come out to him and hes cool with it, even though hes a really religious catholic. I'm comfortable talking about my crushes with Matt, but I dont do it all the time. He gives decent advice since guys and girls applys both ways...sort of. In terms of relationships, I see Matt as like an older brother when it comes to advice. So honestly don't bring up crushes on guys all the time but when you really need a shoulder to get advice from, it wouldn't be that stupid to go ask him.
do you guys talk often? because the person/ people i want to talk to about this dont really respond very fast (like, hours apart) making any sort of conversation impossible
I mean we will at school cause of our schedules but not very often do we text. He does text me back when I really need to talk though
