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straight porn, gay fantasies? I don't get it.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by commandZ, Jan 12, 2012.

  1. commandZ

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    Okay so I'm trying to figure out why when look at pornography 8 times out of 10 I go looking for straight porn. BUT when I have sex with my girlfriend I fantasize about men. When I fantasize in general it has always been about men. I like the idea of sex with women but when it comes down to doing it it's awful! WTF?

    Is this normal? Is there anyone else out there like me?
     
  2. No One

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    A lot of gay men watch straight porn. It's very common. I wouldnt worry about it to much. Just explore your feelings and dont worry so much about the label.
     
  3. Hidinginalabama

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    I would say dont worry about the label like No One said just try and find the real you. If it turns out you are bi, gay, straight what every you are what you are. There i no need ot worry about it.
     
  4. commandZ

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    That's good to hear. I'm still trying to figure my shit out and that's been adding to my confusion.
     
  5. alan t

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    For some reason I like looking at straight porn too.... I only find the men in it attractive but, for some reason the ... "actions" that opposite sex couples do seem more interesting to me... Haha sorry this is awkward.
     
  6. commandZ

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    I'm sorry if it's awkward for you. Thanks for sharing though, I'm still trying to figure out what it is that I like about it. Maybe it's that I wish I could get into those girls the way the men in those videos do (pun not intended).
     
  7. I watch all different kinds of porn and for a while that was confusing, because all my fantasies are about girls and I don't solely watch lesbian porn.

    My conclusion?
    I attribute my porn habits to the fact that I just like sex. I think sex is hot. Even if I'm not that into actually sleeping with guys, I don't mind them so much in porn. It doesn't really say anything about me...except that I like sex, which is fine *shrug*...lol
     
  8. Chip

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    Very often, particularly for men who are questioning, there's a sort of battle going on between the conscious and unconscious mind, where the conscious actively rejects gay porn and, in essence, "convinces" the self that "straight porn is what we like." Only problem is... most of the time, those folks are looking at the guys, not the girls.

    And, as other posters have said, there are some folks who are very clearly gay, but just don't like gay porn for whatever reason.

    I wouldn't attach too much meaning to it. If you really wanted to test it, you could try either looking at straight porn where the guys aren't remotely attractive, or looking at a wide variety of gay porn (solos, oral, anal, and with people of various dfferent ages/body types/etc). It could easily be that the particular gay porn you've had access to hasn't been appealing to you, or there's some other unconscious process going on that's drawing your attention in the straight porn.

    And there's always the possibility that you are straight or closer to straight, but the fact that sex with women is such a turnoff to you would tend to discount that possibility.
     
  9. dndillon

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    I think it might be possible maybe more than one answer exists. I know that sometimes thinking of quote unquote dirty sex whle fantasizing makes getting off more intense. I know that when making love to my wife we have more than one type of making love methods for lack of better terms. Sometimes we make love gently and softly and that is wonderful. SOmetimes we get a little wild and sh and I both fantasize about "dirty sex" such as a man topping me or me taking his member in front of her as she forces me to do so. There can and usually is more than one answer. Either way, enjpy sex and be happy with who you are either way.:icon_bigg