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I...like a guy? How did this happen?!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Hot Pink, Jan 12, 2012.

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  1. Hot Pink

    Hot Pink
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    I'm...at a loss. I'm still gay. I know I am! I look at girls all the time and think they're hot. I look at guys and nothing. Guys are guys to me, except for one. He's a FTM I met at my transgender support group and he thinks I'm cute and adorable. He makes me blush and feel special. I really like him--but how?!

    How can I be a lesbian and like a guy? I'm so confused right now!
     
    #1 Hot Pink, Jan 12, 2012
  2. Sunsetting

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    maybe your hearts are good for eachother.... personally, i think hearts trump sexuality hehe... i'd enjoy the relationship as is and let it simply develop in whatever way it will :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Sunsetting, Jan 12, 2012
  3. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    I, as someone who is pretty freakin' gay myself, honestly believe that sometimes there is a person who is so incredible and so special that your connection to them will transcend what you normally are attracted to. Maybe everyone has an exception? The world may never know.
    All I do know is that sometimes this really happens and it doesn't make you any less of a lesbian. It's confusing, sure, but when you feel really good about it, just go with it. We won't take away your homo card for you getting to know one really special guy :slight_smile:
     
    #3 thedreamwatch, Jan 12, 2012
  4. Jerseyboy

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    Who cares! =) Just go with it, and see where it takes you if your feelings are strong enough. It can't hurt to try. Maybe he's just that perfect exception that clicks with you. Best of luck to you :grin:
     
    #4 Jerseyboy, Jan 12, 2012
  5. Hot Pink

    Hot Pink
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    He must be an exception. I don't understand why. I'm actually not physically attracted to him, but I am emotionally attracted to him.

    I kind of do care. I feel...strange about this. I can't comprehend why I would like a guy. I've been in denial about it for a while, but something happened today that made my feelings so obvious that I couldn't deny it anymore.

    I feel like I've lost my lesbian cred...
     
    #5 Hot Pink, Jan 12, 2012
  6. Hana Solo

    Hana Solo
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    I'm a lesbian. And my girlfriend is MtF. Doesn't mean I'm not attracted to her body still.

    I'm in love with her soul. You have not lost lesbian cred. Soul is more important than gender. Run with it. It could be beautiful. Don't be afraid of it or ashamed of it. We're all happy you found someone :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Hana Solo, Jan 13, 2012
  7. Gerry

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    If you're attracted to someone then you're attracted to them. That's usually a good thing. There's no need to label yourself something if it makes you uncomfortable when finding someone attractive. You can still be a MtF transsexual and still find him attractive, at least in my opinion. I wouldn't worry so much about it.
     
    #7 Gerry, Jan 13, 2012
  8. Mercy

    Mercy Guest

    awh <3
     
    #8 Mercy, Jan 13, 2012
  9. DhammaGamer

    DhammaGamer
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    I make myself feel bad a lot for sometimes being attracted to girls. Then I remember that it's not a big deal. It's funny cuz I used to get mad at myself for being attracted to guys. I think the real problem is not attraction, but more about how we treat ourselves for it. It doesn't matter who you like or want to pursue a relationship with, as long as your heart is in the right place, the rest will follow.
     
    #9 DhammaGamer, Jan 13, 2012
  10. Hot Pink

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    Thank you, everyone, for your input. You're right. As strange as it sounds, liking a guy doesn't make me any less of a lesbian. I also decided to pursue this and see where it goes. Maybe it won't go anywhere. Maybe he'll reject me, but if I don't try, I'll always regret it.
     
    #10 Hot Pink, Jan 13, 2012
  11. Sunsetting

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    this might sound strange in light of my post, but i would say, don't "pursue" it, just simply be a wonderful, terrific beautiful friend and then no matter where it goes, you have a great friend :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
     
    #11 Sunsetting, Jan 13, 2012
  12. Hot Pink

    Hot Pink
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    We already are friends. It's how I got to know him and develop these feelings.
     
    #12 Hot Pink, Jan 13, 2012
  13. Sunsetting

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    Very cool. Have you ever gone out one on one just for fun?
     
    #13 Sunsetting, Jan 13, 2012
  14. Hot Pink

    Hot Pink
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    Not yet, only with other friends. I've been too nervous to ask him out privately. *blush*
     
    #14 Hot Pink, Jan 13, 2012
  15. Sunsetting

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    you're so cute :slight_smile: then find out something he likes and just casually ask him if he wants to go to somewhere you KNOW he'll want to go (again totally casual like a friend, since you ARE friends :slight_smile:); a particular movie, or a museum or place to eat. say, "hey, i'm going to XXXXX on Saturday,m you want to go?" then just let yourself get to know him in that setting. that'll set the groundwork for the next step :slight_smile:
     
    #15 Sunsetting, Jan 13, 2012
  16. Hot Pink

    Hot Pink
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    I sent him a Facebook message, saying that I want to meet him this weekend. Privately, just us... I hope it didn't sound too suspicious. @@
     
    #16 Hot Pink, Jan 13, 2012
  17. Sunsetting

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    haha!!! you crack me up lol! hey, you just wait and see :slight_smile: (*hug*)

    and give us updates!
     
    #17 Sunsetting, Jan 13, 2012
  18. Hot Pink

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    We're meeting on Monday to discuss "something." He totally already knows what it's about. He read me like a book. ><
     
    #18 Hot Pink, Jan 13, 2012
  19. insidehappy

    insidehappy Guest

    i still do not understanding if you are a lesbian or if you are a MtF transgendered or transexual. i get confused on knowing the difference to be quite honest. please explain,

    but whatever you are or whatever your orientation is, you like who you like, stop quiestioning it and just like them. its the same thing as a guy liking a guy. some would say "how could it be" but to teh person that likes the guy, it just IS what it IS.
     
    #19 insidehappy, Jan 13, 2012
  20. Ianthe

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    Hot Pink is a transgender woman (that means MTF) and she is usually attracted to women; since she is a woman who is attracted to women, she is a lesbian.

    Hot Pink: Good luck!
     
    #20 Ianthe, Jan 13, 2012
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