Welp, guys, I messed up. I'm normally so open with my sexuality outside of my family and I'm usually pretty honest with people as long as they ask, but yesterday, I totally chickened out (in a way). To my voice teacher, who, besides being one of the sweetest people I know, on top of everything else, is gay! WHY. Ugh. I'm so frustrated with myself. Basically, that day I had gotten in a huge fight with my mom about my bisexuality, and it ended really badly, about 30 minutes before I had my voice lesson. I was kind of a wreck and came into his studio obviously very upset, and of course, he asked me what was wrong. Now, before this, we had never discussed my sexuality. But this argument was just so bad that I had to tell him. "Well, Patrick," I said. "I had an argument with my mother today because I'm-" And that's when I froze. Something just clicked in me and I said, "I'm gay." But, that's not what my mind was thinking. My mind was thinking, "Anthony, what the hell, you're bisexual, why would you say that?!" And in all honesty, it's because I was extremely afraid. I couldn't think of how to defend my bisexuality, so I caved in and said I was gay. And I just don't know why. I really don't get myself sometimes. And now I have to deal with my voice teacher thinking that I'm gay, and having to tell him that I subconsciously lied to him- next semester is just going to be so insanely awkward. I...ugh...I just don't get why.
Some people don't really understand how you can like both genders but you wanted to tell him. Maybe you should just confess that you're Bi but if he's gay then it doesn't really matter he'll just accept it
Dude, you didn't screw up at all. Man, you just said something you didn't intend to say. It also sounds like he'd probably be very accepting, but you don't even have to address it either, he may bring it up. If necessary, you can simply say, matter of fact-ly. "I'm actually bi-sexual, it was just that day i was overwhelmed from my mom." You're still growing and he knows that and will likely be very kind, so be comfortable, keep your focus and just sing your heart out. Dude, the more I read of you, the more I realize what a great guy you are. Don't let your emotions take you on a roller coaster ride. You're doing really well.
I can understand why this might be upsetting to you, but to him, it really won't matter one way or the other. And if he's been out for a while, he would probably realize that "gay" and "straight" and "bi" are just labels of convenience that describe a spectrum. So even if you came in next week and said you had a girlfriend, he'd probably realize "Oh, he must be somewhat bi" and that would be the end of it. I'm wondering if perhaps this might have more to do with feelings about the fight with your mom than chickening out with your voice teacher?
I agree with everyone that your voice teacher will not likely care. In fact, I'm sure he'd understand perfectly. But I think you are probably more bothered by the fact that you weren't true to yourself than by what your voice instructor will think. Don't worry about it. You were feeling vulnerable right then because of your fight with your mom--so you told your instructor you were gay, because since he's gay, you were confident that he would be accepting of that. But, unfortunately, you couldn't be sure he'd be accepting of your bisexuality, because some gay people aren't. Right then, it was just too much to deal with. What exactly happened with your mom? I thought you still weren't out to her?
Ianthe, I am...halfway out to her...that might be the best way to think of it. I tried to mention it to her once when we were in the kitchen, by saying, "Mom, I think I...might like guys as well as girls." She immediately burst out at me. "Why would you choose this lifestyle for yourself? Can't you just like girls and ignore your feelings for men? Don't you know your life is going to be incredibly hard now? I'm sure you don't even know what you feel, or who you are. This is absolutely ridiculous!" And that just surprised me so much that I really just couldn't say anything. So ever since then, she's brought it up by asking if I've changed my mind about being gay-straight (as she calls it, she won't recognize it as bisexuality). When I reply no, this is not a phase, and I am not just going to magically change one day, she just rolls her eyes and changes the subject. It's literally impossible to get anywhere with her.
