So there's this guy...

Go to a place that you're already familiar with. Possibly a place where there's activity in the background so that you can redirect his attention somewhere else when the need arises.

 

Well, best approach I found when meeting people offline who I first met online (though I confess: never done that in a dating capacity), is to not draw too much of a distinction between the two.

If you have been really hitting it off (even if only for two days), then you should already have some inkling of topics that provided for good conversation (be that videogames, places you visit, or how wonderfully blue his eyes look ). Which is good info to fall back on in case of doubt how to proceed.

Having something in your hands helps too. Which is generally why you'd want to grab something to drink or eat right away. Convenient to bite into or sip from in case you need that extra three seconds to think of what to say next. Also, just the act of chosing what to eat or drink is a great ice-breaker.

On top of that, you probably want to meet in a place you either know well or that's totally public (ideally both). That gives you the opportunity to acclimatise to each other's presence, and get a bit of a bearing.


Last but not least, though: people only exceptionally rarely mess up completely when meeting other people. Those horror scenarios you might have in your mind are just that: horror scenarios that have little to no base in reality.
Worst case scenario: you don't hit it off quite as well as initial online impressions suggest. Which means you just spent some time engaged in smalltalk. Not the best way of spending an evening, but far from the worst!

In any case: best of luck!

 

Well, horrible experiences aren't fun, but no experience is so horrible it can't be used to optimise the next one.

If you don't minde elaborating: what was so horrible about the first date?

 

Well I've had "hook ups" and I've met my bf over over a year online. The latter went well, but the hook up experiences were horrible and awkward. It can be awkward, but it can also allow you to meet a wonderful person and have a great time. I think the best thing to do is to just tell yourself it isn't strange. People meet online all the time these days. Its really nothing to be ashamed about, and just try to act natural.

 

Yikes!
Okay, good news: it wasn't you, it was him who made it horrible.

Which is also why you'd want to meet in a more neutral setting first. Dating is slightly intimidating, someone coming into your personal space is intimidating too. Changing plans is intimidating, especially if you're moving them closer while you expected some days to prepare. If you combine the three by letting a guy you never met into your house for a first meet-up, earlier than you expected, it's tripling the chance to freeze up.

Plus... seems like he was the clingy sort who decided he needed a boyfriend, even if he had to completely disregard all social clues. Bad luck on your side to run into a guy like that, but not something you did wrong.



Maybe one lesson to take from this is to not allow random changes of plans, and not let them invade your own space so quickly. If this second guy is a good fit, then he'll still be a good fit in a week.

So, what I'd do is schedule this date a bit more ahead. Allow yourself a week (during which you should still chat regularly online to get to know each other better). Do not allow it to get pushed ahead. and don't allow guys in your house you haven't gotten at least a first impression of.