Kinda lonely.

So, like my old thread said, my friend was moving out. This afternoon, her dad came by and packed up all her stuff, and she ended up leaving. And now I'm lonely.

The thing is, she has an interview to be back for next week. And she left her phone here, so she'll be back to get it likely soon. It's not like she's gone forever (hell, she wants to visit as much as she can), but I'm feeling kinda lonely now.

Most of my housemates know I'm gay, and none of them have any problems, in fact, they've been very supportive. It's just... she was the person I got used to talking about all that stuff with. All my "I'm feeling down" days, the "I really wish I could be dating" days, the "that guy sitting in front of me was really cute" days. I could talk to the other people about it (one guy actually invited me to talk for support, if I wanted, though he knew that she was best at it), but it just well... isn't the same.

One of my priorities throughout coming out was to not taboo the subject. And I think by talking predominantly with my one friend about it, in a backwards way, I ended up doing exactly what I didn't want to happen. Because this would for the most part be the first time I really approach the subject with them, it'll be pretty awkward, even though I know they won't have problems with it.

I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm just really kinda lonely is all. Not to mention she was the one who was always around the common areas, so now the house is quiet... almost like it's missing a sort of energy.

 

Depends. One was the first person I told, so since the summer, but he doesn't really talk about anything, ever. And the other two were just under two weeks ago, so not long.

I don't feel like I tabooed it because they have problems with it, but because I somehow made it so. I never talked about it, not because I was worried (well, the first one I was, but that's a different story), but because it never came up. I've thrown in a couple of subtle jokes mid-conversation that they would understand, but others wouldn't, so I think I've established I'm relatively comfortable with it.

The last housemate doesn't know. I'm not planning on telling him until the lease is re-signed, and they all know that. I'm consciously careful of what I say and where I'm saying it, because if he overheard without me telling him, it likely wouldn't go well. So I guess it's a little taboo because well, it's still partly a secret.

 

It's going okay so far, the two guys who are looking at taking the room seem chill enough, and fit in pretty well. All in all, we're getting along okay on our end... sure, it's a little quiet at times, but it seems like everyone's making an effort to put some energy back around the house (or at least stop living in our rooms all the time).

But she left her phone here and came to pick it up yesterday... we can all tell she's gonna go insane being stuck at home. And I just feel bad for her now, more than feeling bad for myself.