I don't even know what to say right now. Life is precious but it withers away. Life seems happy, but its not. Something is missing or somethings is blanketing it. This is who I feel. Much of anything i say right now will not make any sense, but i have to spill out something. This is my only way. My body is weak, my life is restless and I feel as no one can see that I am in pain. I live among my sheets and never get out of the bed. People accepted me as that way, but I dont want to be that way.I have so many mixed emotions. and been haunting me my whole life. I cant even be truthful to myself. My life is a wreck in my own eyes, not in others. I can't get any my school wrk done. I can't be on time. I have no motivation. Why? I just wish someone was here with me, just holding me, just saying they understand, keep pushing me to do my greatest. I want somebody I love but who would want to. Why is it that its hard to find those people though. Theres been days I have had wanted to walk off the roof of the house, and days I wanted to hid in the closet. I simply am a toy used by all. Maybe im full of shit asking people to feel sorry for me. How pathetic...
therapy...failure, talking......failure. I guess i can't express myself. Maybe im to shy. just maybe..
to be honest i hate therapy, it doesn't matter how much the person talks its all up to the recipient to make the changes, besides i think they just hand you a solution, when it's up to you to find the solution yourself. with that being said, i think it's time to rethink some possibilities
I know how it feels. Been there and I know this is so cliche but it really does start with you. I was as down as I could possible get and I hurt a lot of people, people I didn't think cared. You are loved I can promise you that, you just don't see it. As for where you are in life and what you are feeling, only you can change that. Make a choice to be who you want to be. I did and I have never been happier. No one can make things better but you.. And I know you think therapy does not work, but it does kind of sound like you could have some anxiety and/or depression (this is not a diagnoses just a hunch). Good luck! Know you can do it!! (*hug*)
