Going to a Gay Bar Alone

I've never actually been to one, but I think if I did, I'd definitely want to go with someone else.

Advice? Be safe, watch your drinks, and don't get so drunk that you end up going home with some random person (unless you want to).

Hmm, do you plan on drinking/getting drunk? (i don't know much about you, so i'm not sure if you're old enough, or not)

 

You could try on myspace or some gay website to find someone in your area to go with.

 

Going to a gay bar alone is a scary thing for me too. I think without a friend you up the risk factor by like 10%. I mean there are some desperate guys out there from what I hear. I suggest you try and find SOMEONE to watch your back. Maybe if there is a gay village near by...or a coffee shop..(lol) you can find someone.

It's never safe to go clubbing alone. But if you keep your wits about you (don't drink too much) it might be fun.


Good luck.

 

Err, I don't know if that'd be a good idea. They might take advantage of you.

But, yeah, if you have a drink that doesn't have a screw on cap like bottled water, make sure no one slips anything in it. If you let it out of your sight for even a couple seconds it's probably better to just get a new drink.

 

My Advice Def go with a friend if it a club. A bar you might be ok byself as long as it not 2 crowed

 

It really depends on the community and your area.

I know in Melbourne going to a gay club by yourself isn't unusual, and not unsafe. But I've also heard that in some other, less gay-friendly areas it's not always the safest.

I would certainly suggest trying to find someone to go with - but it's not always an option. If you are concerned, then you could always try going for an hour or so and just scope the place out and see if it's your "cup of tea". Clubs vary considerably, and one particular club might not be your style.

Another important thing to remember is not to be disappointed if you don't meet anyone, or if someone is a bit of a bitch to you etc. I know first hand how bitchy some guys can get, so don't take anything personally - and definitely don't let it get you down!

 

Its sad that there are not more places for gay people to congregate besides gay bars. There should be a community center in every city if you ask me!

 

Some gay bars are like that unfortunately. Like any other bars they vary a lot in the atmosphere and the type of people that go there. Just because you are gay doesn't mean you have to like the place. Don't judge all gay bars by that one place though.

Are there any others in your area or within a reasonable travelling distance? Are there any gay youth groups etc (assuming you are in that age-range)?

 

Oh becky, I can't wait till the day you run America

 

Ty i have a better idea, next general elections we will get Becky to run. EVERY and i mean absolutely EVERYONE will vote for her!

then she can make the uk the best place ever! shame u cant control weather tho, or can you?

 

Oh hey... I was hoping you'd find someone to go with because otherwise, yeah, you can get that impression. I would NEVER advise someone's first time to a gay bar or club be on their own. It's a very... well, it doesn't really seem like it to me but really it's a very specific, nearly odd environment that you kinda need to develop an understanding of how to "be" in.

The same bar can provide VASTLY different experiences depending on who you go with and what night you go on, and even at what time you arrive.

I don't think, as a general rule, a gay bar/club is that great a place to meet people. You can luck out, of course, but overall the environment isn't really conducive to really getting to know people in any kind of substantial way.

I hope you'll try out a few more bars and clubs before you write them off forever, though. If you go with the right group of people, they can be a lot of fun.

As for being checked out, well... now you know what it's like to be a sexual object! :lol: I guess that's always particularly disconcerting for men the first few times it happens but really, what do people expect? It's not a knitting group or a book club. The atmosphere is meant and known to be sexually charged, and really, being checked out is not a bad thing. The bad things are when people won't respect your boundaries or want to drug you, which I think was maybe just a LITTLE overemphasised by some of the other posters here. Going to a gay bar shouldn't be an experience where you fear for your life. It's an experience where you want to understand there are risks, much like... oh, the difference between understanding there are risks to having sex vs. being terrified of having sex. Your attitude and expectations going into a gay bar will really influence the experience you have.

But yeah, go with people next time. I don't think I've ever gone without friends. You have to an insane kind of extrovert, I think, to go into that kind of environment on your own and have a fun time. I think it can be done but for most people, it helps to have friendly faces around.

 

Okay...I'll agree to Overempphasising the drug part. But this is what I was told.
But yah once again Joey is right, not all bars are the same. However if you want a little less sexually charged atmosphere look for a gayborhood (if your city has one)...if not (in Ontario) we have on in Toronto and Montreal that I know about. Coffee shops are usually where I see the most gay people in Ottawa....but every city...and country even...is different.

Also there is always the internet to help you find a more gay friendly community.

Good luck

 

University gay groups are good, too... guess it depends on your age.

 

I agree. Just make sure you pick a university that has a has a strong one. Or at least one that's supported by the college... (i didn't have that such luck)

 

While staying in TN I went to three gay bars and had a blast. Two of them had these great drag queen shows (a couple of them actually had me convinced they were actually women). Anyhow, I never felt threatened but I did watch my drink and who was around me. I did go to my first "lesbian" bar alone and I did meet people. It wasn't like the two other clubs (they did karoke nights) and it was definitely more laid back.

My suggestion is to find local gay websites and see what is available in your area and see if you can find one that suite you better. They all have different flavors and while one might not be suitable another may be. But if you do end up going alone, act confident and you'll meet all sorts of people.

 

On a Saturday night, close to Christmas, it will be busy probably with entertainment or whatever too. Maybe try a weekday, early evening, when it will be quieter. Perhaps wait until after the new year when things are back to normal.