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Dreaming about my friend/crush.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BudderMC, Jan 18, 2012.

  1. BudderMC

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    So, I slept terribly last night because I kept waking up, but also had an awesome sleep because of the dream I had. It wasn't very long, but I had a dream about my friend (who happens to be my crush). The thing is, it got pretty erotic at the end, and while I enjoyed it, I don't think this bodes well for me.

    I'm very clear in that nothing is going to happen between my friend and I, and I thought over the holidays I had been starting to get over him a little. I know you aren't supposed to over-analyze your dreams, but I've never had any remotely sexual dreams before... or certainly none I can remember. And this was pretty memorable, so I'm feeling like it won't just blow over anytime soon. It definitely doesn't help the way I'm looking at him now (mentally at least).

    I guess it's like I'm undoing all the progress I made on getting over him.

    I don't know what I'm getting at, I just can't shake that happy/bad feeling. Maybe someone can relate?
     
  2. Uniboth

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    Most of us can relate...

    I've been dreaming about one person every other day for the last year. I'd actually pay to stop these dreams, but apparently that's another thing I can't control. It's sucks, but what can we do. Take it with a grain of salt!
     
  3. toremi

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    I know it isn't the same situation; but it kinda is.

    I dealt with these types of dreams after me and my girlfriend broke up for a while. The realization that something has ended (whether it be the fact that you've realized nothing is going to happen) can cause it to be on your mind. And obviously that's where the dreams come from.

    The entire time I was with her, I never dreamed once about having sex with her. We broke up and THEN they started. My own personal hell! But they went away eventually!
     
  4. Marlowe

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    Yeah, this is a pretty painful and rocky territory. it is one thing to get a crush on a straight guy, quite another when it is your friend and you can't just leave them behind. I had the same experience. I love when he visits, it makes me so happy and yet, I also makes me sad and unhappy at the same time, he makes me happy but the relationship we cannot have and all that this represents leaves me profoundly melancholy. I think maybe it is the same for you -- that having the dream is wonderful because you get to experience in some sense this fantasy and not merely in the sexual sense but in understanding how happy you could be if you were together, on the other hand, in experiencing this there is as much of a sense of loss and frustration that you cannot, and perhaps anger that this is getting in the way of a normal friendship.

    It sucks. No two ways about it. I have been trying to get over my infatuation with my friend for more than a year now and six months after being away from one another it is a little more rational but still strong. Sorry to be a Debbie.
     
  5. BudderMC

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    Well, even moreso than him being my friend, he's quite arguably my best guy friend (though I dislike the term 'best friend'), and we're living together this year (and presumably next). Similar interests, get along fine, and all that stuff.

    When I say I've very much established that nothing will ever progress further than friendship, I mean I look at him and see a great friend, but there's still little inklings of 'crush' popping it. I suppose it's more if he stretches or bends or something to reveal a little skin, or does something that anyone else wouldn't find adorable, but that's my sex drive kicking in I guess... :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I guess that a lot of that more sexual/romantic desire is because he is effectively my ideal guy. Since I've got nobody else that's either better or more of a realistic option to focus on, I spend my time on him... if that makes any sense. I guess all I can do is just wait for someone else to come along who attracts me more? :/