Hello all, First of all, I am just starting to come out friends and family as a lesbian, and I don't really know what all that means quite yet. There are a couple of questions I get asked and I don't really know how to answer them. I know a couple of snappy responses to people who ask because they are being rude ... but when it’s a serious question from someone, well I kinda want to know myself. Question #1: "How do you know you are a lesbian?" I guess my defensive response is "how do you know you are straight?" But the truth is, I can't really explain why I know I am gay. And when I can't think of a reason myself then I kinda question if I really am gay… then I see a girl and I think I’m pretty sure I’m gay. It’s just that “I just know?” seems kinda a lame answer. Question #2: “Why are you attracted to girls? Like what part? Is it the boobs or what?” The thing is I don’t really have a reason for liking girls. I mean I can’t explain it myself. Is this normal? Or is it just that I am new at this and I would eventually know? I guess the related question is “why don’t you like guys?” … Again, “I just don’t?” just seems like a lame answer. Question #3: (this one I know I read on the forum somewhere and people ask it a lot) “If you like girls, then why do you want to date a guy looking girl” or "Would you date a guy that looks like a girl?" all I can say is I got no idea ... Question #4: “if you’re not like a transgender or something, and you know you are a girl. Then why do you even want to look like a guy? I'm sure there are more questions, but these are the ones that I get more of.
How do you know you're a lesbian? Because for as long as I can remember, girls stood out for me. I would notice them more than guys. To me, girls can be cute, hot, and sexy; whereas guys are just guys. Why are you attracted to girls? Is there a specific part you're attracted to? Why do I have brown hair? I'm not sure why, but I can't deny that I do have brown hair and I do like girls. It's just something that's always been a part of me. What I like on girls is preference and it's personal. If you like girls, why do you want a date a masculine girl? Because clothes, attitude, and other gender roles are based only on society. Some girls still prefer someone who exhibits male gender roles, but has a female body. Some girls enjoy exploring their gender roles. These two different girls can often meet up and become a couple. Some couples enjoy the masculine/feminine relationship more than others. Again, it comes down to preference. Why do you dress like a guy? Because I want to and I feel secure enough in my own femininity that acting more masculine doesn't make me uncomfortable.
Wow, it's kind of freaky I said almost the same things when I first came out to my friends.... One of my friends told me to just remember you don't have to defend your sexuality unless you feel a need to, answer the questions when your ready to, not when someone else wants you to. I don't know if that helps you or not...
Tell them this is how you're built and can't help it. Ask them to stand with you even if they can't understand it. In my experience the best friend is the one who stands with you even if they don't understand what you're doing. For the answers? I'd answer but Hot Pink has already said my answers lol.
Hey HotPink ... I think those are really good answers. I think they would come in handy. Especially since it's all phrased very neutral and not in an argument type of way. I don't want to make them feel like they have offended me or can't ask me anything anymore. Ace17: I like that "you don't have to defend your sexuality". It certainly makes sense. I definitely don't bother explaining to people that are just trying to be rude or won't really hear you out anyway. Hana Solo: I think, well I hope, that my friends asks those questions because they honestly want to understand how I feel and learn more about things they havn't experienced before. I just wanted to make sure that its ok to not HAVE to know the answers to the questions. I guess they are going to have to stand by me even if I myself don't understand why completely. :icon_redf
